Another hospital visit; still no baby.

After being woken up by painful contractions and thinking that it might be labor really starting, everything stopped and I was sleep deprived. We actually made it to church though and I was fortunate enough to be prayed over concerning this baby. We decided to hang out at Dwight and Karla's for a while, mainly for change of scenery, and while we were there my contractions really got going and were very intense. This went on ALL afternoon. I wasn't convinced it was anything but more teasing from my unborn child, so it took 4 hours for me to be persuaded into calling the midwife. I was told I was welcome to come in, but it was probably OK for me to wait it out a little longer. Wanting to just know already, we decided to head to the hospital to be monitored. I contracted on the way there, walking into the hospital, walking into the triage room.....but as soon as that monitor hit me, I had one big contraction and it all stopped.
Needless to say, it was very frustrating and I really hate looking like one of those women who can't tell when she's in labor. So we left and came home.

I'm exhausted and am now trying to convince myself that I am not going back to that hospital until it is EXTREMELY obvious that I'm in labor (or my water has broken). I suppose this child will be born when he's ready, which I am told will be for sure in the next 2 weeks. However, after everything I've been put through already, I am quickly losing confidence in the fact that I won't be pregnant forever. I guess it's true. I just wouldn't be able to say it to your face with absolute honesty. Since we've been home, I've been contracting every 15 minutes or so. Maybe my baby just has stage fright. Oh well. Unless something happens very soon, it looks like he really will be a January baby.

Why is this not happening?

I'm stuck! We're still waiting on this little guy to decide to come out. I'm basically the exact same that I was Thursday night. The contractions are extremely painful (in fact, I think they've gotten more painful as time goes on) and I have to breathe through them. But they're just not quite close enough together to need to go back to the hospital. I've been walking, doing heavy housework, anything to get this jumpstarted. It doesn't seem to be making a difference. I'm really on the verge of tears right now because I'm so frustrated. I don't quite understand how things can look so close to going into full-out active labor and then not get any further. I know my due date isn't for about 2 more weeks, but it's pretty obvious that my body is trying to go. But for some reason, it just isn't making it very far. So I'm going to stop trying to make it go and just go about my day today. Hopefully I'll have something exciting to write about soon!

Still waiting

Well, things didn't come to a screeching halt as I expected, but they weren't as full-blown as they really needed to be. We were basically told that it could jump start itself at any minute, so go home and wait. So we're waiting. Things still seem to be working towards hardcore labor, but are stopping just short of it. The contractions are actually further apart than they were earlier today, but are MUCH more painful. Painful enough that I can't walk through them, but I still feel able to handle them, so I'd prefer to stay home for now. Aiden is at grandma's for the night, just in case. Being right on the edge like this is very frustrating, but at least it does appear that progress is being made - just not as quickly as I'd like.

Going in!

I'm waiting for John to get home so we can head over to the hospital. I'm still a little wary of getting excited over this, because I'm absolutely convinced it will all come to a screeching halt once I get there. Hopefully though, we'll have a new baby in our arms by the end of the day!

Timing and waiting

Currently, I am waiting for my midwife to call me back. I've been contracting every 5-7 minutes for nearly 2 hours with a LOT of abdominal and lower back pain. For some reason, I don't want to assume I'm in labor, but since my labor with Aiden was only 5 hours long....I probably shouldn't procrastinate on this too much. They may have me come in to be checked out in the office before any hospital trip would happen. So for now, we are just timing these puppies and waiting to hear back. I'll update when I know what's going on.

Christmas has come and gone...

It's always a little sad when Christmas is over, even for someone in their mid-20s! We had a great time though and I feel even more blessed than I did in the weeks leading up to Christmas.
We started out the morning with brunch and gifts at John's parents and then headed over to the Martins for Christmas dinner and more gifts. We got some really cute pictures, mostly of Aiden, so I'll need to post those later.

Pregnancy-wise, I made it through the day! It was a little nerve-wracking to wonder if I was going to make it through Christmas. As of right now, I've actually been contracting every 10 minutes for the past 3 hours. I'm trying not to get my hopes up about this actually being labor, but it's really hard not to every time another one starts. For now, I'm just going with it and if it turns into something more, then so be it. I'm not supposed to call the midwife until they are 4-5 minutes apart for one hour, so they'd need to jump up in frequency here. Fingers crossed....

A small scare

Anything that seems unusual, even this late in pregnancy, can cause a massive amount of anxiety. I discovered this last night, when I started bleeding. I called the midwife on call and explained it all to her. She was very reassuring and told me that at this point, from what I was telling her, it sounded normal and actually might be signaling some progress toward labor. I was told to keep an eye on the amount and if it got worse, I would need to come in to the hospital. Thankfully, by the time I was off the phone, it had nearly stopped. I was able to take some deep breaths and get some sleep, as it was the middle of the night.
Even though she told me that it didn't sound like anything to worry about, it's still a little scary and part of me keeps wondering if it's going to start up again. Hopefully it is some progress toward labor starting though (starting after tomorrow, of course!). I will update if anything else happens!

Full term. Finally.

I am full term today. Whew. I wasn't so sure I was going to make it through last week; my body was doing such odd things. But now I'm here and allowed to go at any time, so I don't have to be concerned about laying down and trying to get contractions to stop once they get started. Still wanting to make it through Tuesday, but it's feeling a little more do-able than it did a week ago. I'm really, really ready for this.

At church today, I told a few people how I would like to get past Tuesday before this baby shows up. All of the reactions were them standing back, looking at my stomach, and saying, "Ummm....I dunno if you can wait....". Great. Words of encouragement right there! I know I look like I'm about to pop (and I guess I kind of am about to!), but probably I have another week or so before it's go time. John keeps joking about how I feel like I'm going to go at any point, but watch me go past my due date. No thank you. If I've reached my due date, I'm telling my midwife to just break my water. I'm too tiny, there's no way I want to go past and have him get any bigger than he needs to be!

We had John's company Christmas party last Monday and we got some photos of me all dressed up with my big tummy. I'll try to post them soon. For now, I have to go give into the utter exhaustion that's been taking over for the past 4 nights. I guess my body is just trying to get me all rested and prepared, but it would be nice if it didn't hit me all of a sudden!

Things should either get going or just stop!

I went walking around the mall for about 4 hours with a friend today, not even trying to get labor going (I'm not full term until Sunday anyway!), just finishing Christmas shopping. I had been having some contractions this morning, but the walking actually seemed to make them stop. Since I've been home however, the pressure is very intense and the contractions are basically taking over my entire torso. I was having them about every 6-7 minutes while cooking dinner (which I still managed to fix on my own while this was going on) and they sped up while eating dinner. I figured I should lie down and see if that changed them at all. It slowed them dramatically (only 3 in one hour), but as soon as I got up again....boom, there they are.

I just don't know anymore. I know I shouldn't go into labor yet, but if my body is ready, there's not much I can do to stop it. I'm staying sitting for now, but they are still happening - irregular, but happening and still strong. I want to make it another week. I just have to get past Christmas (for the selfish reason of not wanting to be in the hospital on a food-filled holiday). I don't know if I can make it though. I told John last night that I felt like the baby was going to fall out! I can tell he's gotten much lower today and other things just feel....off. Can my body just make up it's mind???

It's soooo close!!

I am allowed to go into labor in just over one week! YES!

I had an appointment today (with a fantastic midwife, by the way) and everything looked so good. We read over my birth plan, which she said was awesome and she would be sending it over to the hospital today to be placed in my file. Weight is good (only 2 more pounds to go before I hit my target weight!), baby's heartbeat was great. Listening to the baby's heartbeat was really an adorable part of the day. Aiden recognized the doppler immediately and was very eager for her to put it to my belly. Once the heartbeat sound started, Aiden started dancing to it! After we got in the car, I asked him what the baby sounds like and he said, "Woosh! Woosh! Woosh!". Too cute!

The really great part about the appointment was asking if she could check for any possible dilation and effacement. I've been having crazy contractions and pelvic pressure for the past week, so I wanted to see if it was doing anything. She said the baby was engaging in the pelvis and that I was 1 cm dilated and beginning to efface. Basically, things are beginning to happen but she can't give me a good idea as to when it might happen. She told me just to make sure I was getting enough rest and be prepared for any time once I hit 37 weeks.

Today was good for me. I finally just feel excited instead of horribly impatient! I'm hoping I'll finally get some good sleep tonight. I had a lot of questions come up since my last appointment and I think they had begun to stress me out. I ache and I'm sleepy, but it's the good kind. Nothing a long soak in a warm bath and cuddling up under clean sheets won't fix.

You know it's love when....

When your husband really had every right to tell you to go sleep on the couch, but didn't.....he must love you a lot.

The insomnia has kicked in. When it kicked in while I was pregnant with Aiden, I had him 2-3 weeks later. So if the last pregnancy is any indication, I don't have too much longer to go. But for now, I'm annoying the life out of my poor husband. Last night was really bad. I kept flopping over from my left to my right....back to my left....onto my back....well, as much as a large pregnant lady can flop. And then I kept making really snarky comments about odd things that I can't even remember now. All while poor John was trying to sleep.
After I made some slightly rude comment about this being HIS fault, he said, "Well, I'll be working late tomorrow evening". I asked, "Because I'm cranky?". He responded with a very sarcastic-sounding, "Yeah!".

He asked if I'd taken any Unisom and I said I didn't want to, since I'd taken some the night before. Finally after an hour or so, I said a small curse under my breath (no judging - I was extremely tired and irritable!) and took one tablet. John laughed at me as I went stomping to the medicine cabinet to retrieve it, but it was probably more out of relief that he was finally going to get some rest rather than him actually thinking I was funny.

I did eventually get some fairly good sleep, but I hate having to rely on any sort of meds (as safe as they say they are during pregnancy) in order to get any sleep. I think John is now as ready for this baby to come out as I am. Poor guy. At least I know he loves me!

It's a little slow

Strangely enough, things are just a tiny bit slow right now and I'm a little bored. We've finished preparing things for the baby's arrival, so I can't do any more with that. And there's only so much cleaning you can do to an apartment that wasn't really in dire need of a good scrubbing in the first place.

It's only like this right now because John is having a really long week at work and isn't getting home until late evening. Since he has the only car, the things that I do have to finish can't really be done. I need to get our Christmas cards out, but I have to go to the post office for that. There's still Christmas shopping to do, but unless I want to do it online (and risk it not getting here in time), I have to wait. And this happens to be the only week where we don't have a bunch of things scheduled to keep me occupied. So I guess I should be happy that things are quiet for a small amount of time before they get really busy again.

I just really like having things to do. When I don't, I begin to feel a little sullen and down. I guess I'll just try to take advantage of the quiet week and maybe do some reading or see if I can teach Aiden how to read (he already knows his alphabet!).

Pre-labor and our "holiday" movie selection

I decided to do some Christmas shopping by myself Saturday afternoon. I hadn't been out by my lonesome in a while and John detests busy shopping areas, so it was a good chance to wander leisurely around Target. Traffic was horrible, but I was on no particular schedule, so I was able to keep from stressing out too much (even when I got honked at by the car behind me for correctly waiting to make a left turn instead of driving right into oncoming traffic and even when some guy, who was supposed to be yielding to oncoming traffic (me), turned right in front of me and almost took off the front of my car). Serenity now....

During my walk around Target, I began to get some contractions. Nothing too horrible, just what I would expect from being on my feet for about an hour. Once I got home, they started to pick up and get more intense. They didn't change when I rested, but they were very irregular, so I didn't feel like bothering the midwife on call (it IS a weekend, after all). I tried to stay off my feet for most of the evening and let John talk me into watching the first 2 hours of Schindler's List (not something to watch while pregnant and emotional, by the way).

We stayed home from church, as the contractions were still there and John didn't want me "overdoing it". They've slowed down some, but are still around now. Along with them, I have increasing pelvic pressure and almost constant low backache. Basically, the literature that my midwife has given me and my pregnancy books all say that I am in pre-labor. YAY! I really am excited about it, but they also say that pre-labor can show up anywhere from a few hours to a whole month before labor starts. So I guess I can't get too excited. And I suppose it really does need to wait about 2 weeks until I'm 37 weeks along and considered full-term. Everything else is ready though.

Now, I just need to get up the emotional strength to finish watching Schindler's List. Only an hour and 20 minutes left of it..... And the movie that's planned for after we finish that one? Spartacus. Happy, happy Christmas movies!

Goodbye semester, we will not miss you!

After tonight, John is officially done with this semester. His last final starts at 5:30pm and hopefully he'll be home much earlier than normal for Thursdays. I have been looking forward to this point for weeks. I'm amazed we made it through this term as well as we did. It's definitely time for it to end. Physically and mentally, I'm just about shot. Evenings are slightly difficult anyway, but with John not here 3 nights a week....they got really difficult. I usually end up with a lot of painful contractions in the evening, and it's also when I start to feel really exhausted. Aiden also likes to choose this time to throw some tantrums. It took all I had some nights to refrain from sticking Aiden in front of the TV all evening while I sat like a lump on the couch. But I won't lie, it did happen sometimes.

I am so happy to have reached today. I no longer have to dread Mondays, which will make my weekends much more enjoyable. I named them "Single Mom Mondays", because I was on my own from 8am to 10:30pm. Aiden didn't see John at all these days and I had to put him to bed by myself (not easy to do when he's used to Daddy being there at bedtime). I am looking forward to our evenings being open and hoping that I won't be quite so cranky anymore. :^)

The remainder of this month should be pretty enjoyable. We have a few things lined up to look forward to (John's company Christmas party - Aiden gets to stay the night with grandma!), we will approach our Christmas shopping leisurely, and we have a small pregnancy timeline to keep us focused. A few doctors appointments and a reminder that I am full term on December 23.

A huge source of stress ends tonight. It's almost unbelievable. I can finally feel like I can fully enjoy the holidays. If I can just keep from wondering how difficult next term might be.

It's that time....

Time to decorate for Christmas! We went out Sunday afternoon in search of a U-Cut tree and for those of you who know what the weather was like on Sunday, yes we did get soaked and feel free to laugh at us. It was part of my birthday celebration though, so I didn't want to put it off. We found a great U-Cut place that I think we'll keep going to each year ($15 a tree - any size). They had a fantastic selection and our tree this year is my favorite by far. Once we got home, soaking and covered in mud, we lit our first fire in our fireplace (this is the first apartment we've had with a fireplace) and changed into dry clothes. We then decorated the tree and the apartment.
Aiden discovered the tree ornaments and was trying to figure out how they worked.
And here's our finished product! Since we have limited apartment space, we usually get a 3-4 foot tree each year. This one is about 4 1/2 feet and it fits our home perfectly.

I am very happy to have our Christmas decorations up. I love the Christmas feeling, but this year it also helps to remind me that our new baby is almost here. I'm getting increasingly impatient this time around and I'm trying to find ways to keep calm about it. I am full term in 3 weeks, so I am focusing on that fact and telling myself that this baby could come in 3 weeks. Going the full 6 weeks wouldn't be the end of the world, but boy, am I ready for this kid. I am very ready mentally and things are pretty much prepared for his arrival. I guess I'd like to get the Christmas shopping out of the way first though. But I will tell all of you now: As soon as I finish eating dinner on Christmas Day, I am ready to go. All bets are off and I may actually try to induce myself. Yes, the baby foot in my ribs is getting to me that much! I'm almost there.....why does it feel so far away?

So, I'm 24....

My birthday was yesterday and I guess I'm now officially in my mid-20s. Woohoo. It didn't really feel like much of a birthday, but we're not celebrating until Sunday so maybe that's why. The day started out at 2:30am with Aiden waking up and not going back to bed for nearly 2 hours. I then couldn't fall asleep until 6am and Aiden woke me up again at 8am. I was so exhausted and spent most of the morning in tears from sleep deprivation and a headache. It did get better throughout the day, even though John had class and didn't get home until 9pm. He gave me some great presents and they were just what I wanted. The new Maroon 5 CD, the 2nd season of Bones on DVD, and an MP3 player to fill with relaxing music for use during labor! I had been dropping hints about that last one for MONTHS. I'm quite happy with my hubby. :^)

Also, I had another appointment with the midwife this morning and everything looks great. She was a little concerned that in the past 2 weeks (and over Thanksgiving), I apparently only gained a half pound! They're still wanting me to hit 135, so I have 6 1/2 pounds to go. But, she said I'm measuring right on time so it's not too worrying, just keep eating. She thinks I'm on track to have a 7 pounder, which is right about where Aiden was (7 lb, 1 oz). Next time, I get the Strep B swab test and I just found something out about it that I wasn't aware of and am now dreading a little. Like, where exactly they swab....
After this next appointment in 2 weeks, I don't get seen again until January 2 because of their weird holiday schedules. I'll be 38 weeks then, so we'll see if I make it. I'm kind of hoping not, but of course I want this baby to be done baking before he comes out.
Am I getting a little impatient, you ask? Why yes I am! I mentioned to the midwife that everything hurts everywhere and I'm constantly exhausted (hence the impatience). She said it sounds like a typical 2nd pregnancy to her. I said to John afterwards, "So I'm supposed to feel as though I'm dying!".

I'm beginning to feel a little overwhelmed, but it's probably just because I'm so tired. If only the apartment would stay clean all by itself...

Loss of a loved one

I got a call this afternoon, letting me know that my great-grandma had passed away Sunday evening. This wasn't a surprise; we had been told a few weeks ago that she might go at any time. I haven't seen her since I was 5, so I wasn't terribly close with her. And for the past couple years, she's been suffering from dementia quite badly, so even if I had tried to strengthen our relationship, she wouldn't have known who I was. And though I wasn't close with her, it's still hard. Losing a loved one, especially around the holidays, is never easy. The strangest feeling though, is knowing of her passing while I'm preparing to bring another life into this world. It just sort of reminds you how things really do work. Lives end and lives begin and on and on it goes. Maybe it's just one of those "morbid" things that we don't really like to think about, but deep down we know that's how it is. Even though I hadn't seen her in nearly 20 years, there's still a part of me that is saddened by the thought that Aiden and Nathan will never know her.

The funeral is Friday and if I could ask for those of you who read this to keep my grandma and her sister in prayer as they lay their mom to rest. They've been caring for her and watching her suffer (in the past couple of weeks, she had stopped eating and drinking). While I know they are relieved that she is no longer in pain, I know it's still very hard for them. They are on the east coast, so I won't be able to attend the funeral and be there with them. I'll actually be at a doctor's appointment during the funeral time, listening to my unborn child's heartbeat. It would be hard not to think of her listening to the same little heartbeat from heaven.

At least we got a tour of sorts....

I was sent in to Maternity at St. V's this afternoon. There had been some concern on my part since last Sunday about possibly leaking fluid. I called the on-call midwife on Wednesday to get her opinion and was told to keep an eye on it and what specifically to watch for. Then during church this morning, I was pretty convinced that it had gotten worse. I had a nice lunch with the extended family, discussed my concerns with my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law/nurse in training/labor support person. I think they were about to throw me in the car and take me themselves, so I agreed to call again. Luckily, the same midwife was on call today and she remembered speaking with me on Wednesday. She told me to come right in, so we left Aiden with the family and headed over.

Once we got there, things happened fairly quickly. They were pretty busy too, but I was in a gown and hooked up to a monitor within 10 minutes. I stressed the fact that I wasn't positive about what I was leaking, but that I was concerned about it. They were very up front in telling me that if I was leaking fluid, I would not be going home until the baby was born. Just what I need at 33 weeks and a 2 year old depending on me....
Thankfully though, the exam and stick test showed that I wasn't losing amniotic fluid. I will, however, leave out the lovely details of the explanation for you. I apologized for taking up a bed and the nurse just laughed and said that it wasn't a big deal and that they have women in there multiple times a day, wondering if they're losing fluid when they aren't. I was scolded a bit for apologizing and reminded that being this early yet, I should never feel sorry for wanting to make sure that everything is ok with the baby.

I am glad we went, even though I still feel slightly as though I took up their time. I've been worrying about it all week and now I can relax and know that this baby can bake for a little while longer. It was also nice to know where to go and what the process will be like when it finally happens. It takes a bit of anxiety off the whole experience. So, sigh of relief for me and now it's time for a bath and some very deep sleep.

A never-ending line of onesies and sleepers

I thought I was done sorting through the size of baby clothes that we will need right away. They've been washed, dried, and folded. Then I realized that we were missing a few outfits that Aiden wore when he was that size. Lo and behold, there are actually more boxes of newborn baby clothes that need to be washed and sorted. Oh boy. We have baby clothes coming out of our eyeballs. And this is after I went through it all and gave away a bunch because I thought we had too many. I am not joking when I say that there is THREE loads of laundry worth of JUST the 0-6 months size clothes. I'm not even going to touch the mass of boxes that is holding a small store's worth of bigger sizes. Just when I think I'm almost done preparing for this baby.....

On a side note, I have yet again finished off an entire box of powdered donuts. Bring on the Thanksgiving dinner! It's probably a good thing I ordered bigger maternity tops from Old Navy. ;^)

Being married

I had a date with my husband yesterday. It had been about a month and a half since we'd had some time for just us. Not that I mind having my toddler around constantly, but every mom needs a break. This time though, it wasn't so much getting away from Aiden as it was getting to actually talk to my husband.

It was time to get our wedding rings cleaned, so we went over to Shane Co. to get that done. A tiny side diamond had fallen out of my ring, so I had to leave it there to be repaired. We won't be able to pick it up until Friday, so I'm going to be feeling pretty naked without it. After that, we went over to the mall to just wander for a while. It wasn't all that relaxing as the mall was PACKED, but it was time we spent together without having to worry about anything. Then we went over to Borders to browse and pass the time in relative quiet. We found a book to read together and then headed over to Olive Garden for dinner.

Dinner was....very very good. And I'm not referring to the food, although that was fantastic and I ate everything (odd for me; I usually get too full). Sometimes when we go out to dinner, we don't talk very much. Maybe our brains just stop functioning for a while because we're relaxing, I don't know. But this time, I wanted to make sure that we really talked. I asked John about classes and work and if he was feeling any anxiety about having another baby. We talked all through dinner, in the car on the way to pick up Aiden, in the car on the way home, and well into the night after we put Aiden to bed. I think we talked more than we have in the past three weeks.
We were able to really reconnect with each other last night and when I woke up this morning, I realized how much I've been missing my husband. I feel so lucky to have the relationship with him that I do. I have a feeling that this holiday season could be very good for our marriage. We've been so focused on getting John through work and this school term and preparing for the baby, we've sort of forgotten that marriage isn't maintenance-free. I haven't felt this good mentally in a long time.

We're getting there...

I had an appointment with a midwife this morning, and I say A midwife because mine happened to be out sick and they didn't call me. Which was fine, I was perfectly happy with the midwife I saw today and it was good to familiarize myself with her in case she's the one who delivers the baby. I was pleased that they hadn't called me though because I had some concerns and really wanted to be seen this morning. I'll spare you the ugly details, but it had been listed under "possible pre-term labor symptoms" on the handout I was given, so I was a little worried. Everything seems ok, but if it continues I'll need to be checked and monitored for a while.

I'm measuring right on time, which is great! I measured a little small with Aiden, so I'm pleasantly surprised to be "normal" with this one. Nathan appears to be head-down and should be weighing around 3 1/2 pounds and measuring about 18 inches long. I'm 7 pounds away from my target weight of 135 and I gained about 5 pounds in the past 2 1/2 weeks. I finally feel like I might reach the target weight, especially with loads of holiday food just around the corner!! I was a little worried about not gaining like they wanted me to, because I seemed to be stuck there for a month or so. But I gained most of my weight in the last trimester with Aiden, so I guess that's happening this time too.

I'm finally in the zone where I'm preparing things for labor and birth. Nathan's clothes are washed and sorted, his going home bag is packed, my birth plan is written up, and I'll finalize my hospital pre-registration this afternoon. Of course there's still many things to do, but it feels so good (and so real!) to work on these things. I'm very eager to hold my baby, smell the new baby smell, and see how much he looks like his big brother.

Come on, December 6!

Why December 6? It's the magic date for John being done with this school term. I'm not just wanting it to be over for me, but for him as well. This term has been very different from the others and I think it's really stressing him out. Different job, living further away from the campus (about an hour each direction), baby on the way....I don't blame him for being more stressed than he's ever been. Plus, Aiden and I don't get to see him very often during the week. It gets old fast. Just about 3 more weeks to go and we can calm down for a short while before this baby gets here.

I feel like my posts have been a little mopey lately and I'm honestly not trying to dump my problems on everyone who reads this. There have just been many things to bring up a lot of stress and worry. And then on days like today when my husband is sullen and quiet, it makes it worse. I try to give him a lot of space to get his homework done and have his downtime because I know he needs it. The hardest part is trying to not throw a bunch of baby-related stuff his way. He has enough on his mind already. He works so hard. I don't think I could do it, at least not for very long.

If all of this sounds like I'm upset with our current situation, I'm really not. I just tend to worry about anything and everything, even if I'm very happy with the way life is going. I'm so excited about bringing a new baby into our lives (and getting his feet out of my rib cage), I'm excited about it being holiday season again, and I'm extremely proud of my husband for everything he does for his family. We just have to make it 3 more weeks without having our heads explode. :^) Luckily, I have plenty of things to keep me occupied until then. Like lots and lots of baby clothes to wash and sort....

Is my faith being tested or is this normal?

Aiden is turning into a huge handful. Yeah, he's been acting like a two year old and that's to be expected, but after this weekend....I just don't know where it's coming from.
I was given a beautiful baby shower on Saturday and received many gifts. Aiden was napping when I got home and by the time he woke up, John and I had brought in everything and stacked it up on the couch. Aiden took one look at all the baby items and launched into a three hour long temper tantrum. He even began grabbing baby shoes and angrily throwing them to the ground.

Today is really no different. We've put all the baby stuff away (except there are some baby clothes stacked in Aiden's room - I may need to hide those), but it's like the damage has been done. I'm having constant back pain, so I can't pick him up and that makes him mad. I have to eat every hour or so, and that makes him mad. Anything and everything is making him mad. He'll be fine one minute and then be on the floor kicking and screaming the next, for no apparent reason.

I have to feel some relief that it's a holiday and John has tonight off from class. Otherwise I'd be on my own until 10pm. And I have to be happy that we are financially secure enough that I can decide to order pizza tonight to make my day go a little easier. Yesterday I felt like I was doing well in being thankful for what we have and in turning to God when I'm having a rough time with something. Obviously, I'm not perfect at it and at times I feel as though I'm still an infant in my faith. But today is really pushing it. I was only up with Aiden for an hour before I started feeling as though I was losing control and raising my voice at him. I've put Aiden down for a nap and said a quick prayer for strength and patience. I need to get better at this because I know it's just going to get more difficult when I've got a newborn to care for as well. Anyone know of any good devotionals for moms?

Chocolate? Donuts? Anyone?

Basically from the moment I got pregnant this time around (that might be a bit of an exaggeration...), I've had the worst sweet tooth ever. All I want is sugar. In fact, I'm sitting here drinking a coke and popping snack size Milky Way Midnights. I do have my moments where I crave a big fat bacon burger, or bananas on corn flakes like I did the other day, but mostly it's just sweets. Donuts are a big craving for me and surprisingly, I've been able to keep myself from them for the most part. I think I've only had donuts three times during the pregnancy. Granted, one of those times I ended up eating 8 (yes, eight) powdered donuts. I still will count this as only one time out of three. Honestly, I can't believe I didn't get sick.

I am a tiny person, so most people would probably say to eat as much of whatever I please. I've been doing really well with weight gain this pregnancy and only have ten pounds to go until I hit my target weight of 135. Hello Thanksgiving dinner!
There are other benefits to needing extra weight. I'm becoming quite an accomplished chef and can whip up dishes that I would have been terrified to try this same time last year. But, because of all this extra food, John has been eating just about as much as I have been. I guess it's to be expected and I guess you could say that it's his turn. He actually lost weight while I was pregnant with Aiden. We are convinced that it's because I left no food for him to eat. This is certainly not a problem this time around.

So what's for dinner? Fettucine with sausage, topped with pesto and mozzarella; baked maple acorn squash; homemade butter breadsticks; and a streudel-filled coffee cake for dessert. But later on I'll probably take a trip to the store for some donuts. :^)

The adventures of a 2 year old

No, make that just the injuries of a 2 year old. Aiden was hopping around, pretending to be Tigger as he likes to do (kind of odd, considering he was watching Elmo at the time), when he got some pretty good air under his feet and then landed wrong on his right foot. I attended to him immediately and he basically stopped crying right away, but continued to hold his foot. Being 2, he can't really tell me what hurts or how much, so I've got to try to figure this out on my own. I thought since he stopped crying fairly fast, I'd just let it go. But as I watch him, I see that every time he tries to walk, he starts limping and whimpering in pain. Great.
I leave a message for the advice nurse and wait....they tell you it can take up to 2 hours for them to call back, but it only took about 20 minutes - thank goodness! Basically, she says he absolutely needs to be seen. She doesn't even ask me any other questions about it. Just that he might need an x-ray and they can get us in at 5:20. Now I have to call John to see if he can make it home from work in time and skip some of his class tonight. Luckily, he laughed at the fact that our son was goofing around and didn't get annoyed.

This wouldn't be so bad if I weren't in horrible pain from my unborn child trying to come out the top of my stomach. And since Aiden is hurting, he wants to be carried and held. Which would be fine, but every time I pick him up it feels like my lower back muscles are going to rip into tiny pieces. I don't know if that's actually possible, but it sure feels like it. So I'm in awful pain and exhausted. And through all the time on the phone, Aiden leaked through his diaper and soaked onto my only pair of clean maternity pants. Awesome, now I have to do laundry too.

I guess it won't be so bad as long as I can get out of cooking tonight. :^)

Christmas Party! (A bit early, I know)

We found out yesterday that John's company is putting on a Christmas party and is close to finalizing the plans. This is something new for us, as the Red Cross didn't have Christmas parties. I guess when you're a non-profit, you just don't do things like that.
Even though it's still about a month or so away, I'm still really excited about it. When it happens, I'll be around a month away (more or less) from having the baby and an outing like this will be much needed. We'll get a babysitter for Aiden, we'll get dressed up, and we'll have a beautiful, relaxing adult evening in either downtown Portland or Lake Oswego. And that will be the last time that will happen for quite a while....
When John sent me the email about it from work yesterday, one of my first thoughts was "I wonder if there's going to be an open bar?". I quickly remembered that even if there was, I was not going to be able to celebrate the holidays in that manner. Silly me. John was happy though, because this means I'm the designated driver by default. And yes, there will be an open bar.
Is it weird to excited over something that's a month (or more) away? I guess the holidays have always been exciting for me, so that's part of it. But I suppose that I'm just so deprived of quality time with my husband, that a fancy date in a month really sticks in my head. Thank goodness I have things to keep me busy until then!

The changes a new baby brings....

John and I wanted to take it easy this weekend, with not too much going on, as we haven't gotten to spend REAL time with each other for a while. Of course, things never go completely as planned and while the weekend wasn't stressful, it definitely brought to our attention that this baby requires a lot of change.

Saturday was full of errands, directionally challenged people (who all seemed to be at either Target or Jamba Juice), and me nearly passing out in the middle of a store. I think I was just low on fluids, but it's still a little scary when the room begins to spin.
Sunday we skipped church (naughty!) to catch up on sleep and were invited out to lunch with John's grandparents. As we were pulling into their driveway, we noticed the neighbors were having a yard sale. I don't get extra excited over yard sales, but when I saw that they had a toddler bed in perfect condition, we had to stop. We left Aiden with the great-grandparents (who had also noticed the bed and wondered if we were interested) for a few minutes while we walked down to check the price. It was priced at $50, but she had just lowered it to $40. It looked as though it had never been used! We bought it so fast.... It was exactly the same as the one we were considering at Babies R Us, which was around $100.
After lunch (thank God for buffets), we headed back over to John's grandparents to load up the toddler bed and 2 dressers that they had picked up for us from another relative. We were also given a small toaster oven that had never been used and our baby shower gift of a brand new Diaper Champ! Once all these things were in our apartment, we began rearranging bedrooms. This didn't get too far and it's going to take a bit of thinking to figure out how everything needs to go for the baby. I'm now starting to get overwhelmed....I thought we were a little more ready than this.

We had set up the toddler bed in Aiden's room and he was acting very excited over it. So, we thought we'd see if he was ready to make the transition from his crib. We put all his bedding on the new bed and went through his bedtime routine like normal. He was ok for about 10 minutes. Then we heard slight crying....and then it turned into extremely upset screaming. Once he began banging on his door (showing that he was NOT staying in that bed), we attended to him. He was so upset over the whole thing, we put all of his bedding back into the crib and did bedtime all over again (kind of a reset). He didn't make a sound after that. I guess he's just not quite ready and that's ok. I was really nervous about trying it and now I'm really nervous about it. We have time though and that's slightly reassuring. We'll be using a cradle for the first few months, so we could go at least 6 more months from now before he needs to give up the crib. I just wish it wouldn't have been so traumatic last night.

So now, I'm just attempting to get prepared for this baby. The baby shower is on Saturday, so I'm sure I'll have a little more of an idea of exactly how prepared we really are (or aren't) after that. And of course, my husband had to decide last night to have an in-depth conversation with me about whether or not we should have a 3rd child. I am making no decisions until this one is done baking, thank you very much!

A Minthorne Halloween

Since Aiden is a little older now, I knew that we could really try to get him into Halloween this year. We ended up having a lot of fun with him and the pictures of this Harvest season will be a treasure for our family. Here's a few to share! :^)
Our little Winnie the Pooh in his costume for the first time! He loved it!!

Aiden and daddy at Baggenstos Farms Pumpkin Patch.

Aiden trying to pick up a pumpkin. It didn't go very well...

Aiden found a pen and decided to decorate his pumpkin. Normally he's not allowed to have pens (he draws on the wall), but it was too cute to pass up this time.

At grandma's house, getting ready to go trick or treating.

Aiden did a good job at humoring mommy in her pregnant housewife from the 50s costume. I basically just ended up being a pregnant Lucille Ball!

My midwife's office is flat out amazing!

I took the glucose test yesterday morning and when they took my blood sample, they told me that it would be a week before the results came back. I just got a phone call from them saying that they had received my results this afternoon and everything looks great! I guess the lab really had nothing else to do.... I am just amazed. I can't believe they got the results back to me so quickly and even took the time to call me when they said they'd only call if things were abnormal. I am very happy that I passed, but I wasn't too concerned about it (I mean, look at me!). I am more pleased that I have no signs of anemia and I'm actually a little surprised about it. I fully expected to be at least a little since I was with Aiden. Thank the Lord for removing that risk with this pregnancy!
All in all, except for my asthma being a little worse and slightly overworking myself at times, this pregnancy looks great. It still feels hard on my body (oh, the aching) and I'm feeling ready for this to be the last, but I'm very glad that things are about as normal as they can be. I know not everyone can be so lucky. The little blessings we take for granted sometimes.....

Yum....glucose!!

Note the sarcasm there in the title. I had my glucose tolerance test this morning and I guess it went about as well as it can go. At least this time I was able to drink it at home, so I could make as many nasty faces and noises as I pleased. With Aiden, they had to watch me drink it in the doctor's office and then I had to sit around for an hour waiting to get my blood drawn. I didn't have too much sitting around this time, although they nearly missed the window to get the blood sample. I had to remind them that it had been an hour since I'd finished the stuff; they almost forgot me! I would have been so angry if they had forgotten and I would have had to take the stupid test all over again. They'll get the results back in one week, but will only call if I fail. Otherwise, I just get to wait another 2 weeks until my next appointment to have it discussed with me. They're also checking for anemia, which I'm more concerned about actually having. I don't think it's very likely that I have GD.
I also got a flu shot, which didn't hurt too badly at the time, but now my arm is WAY sore. Yay for getting poked twice in the same arm, within 20 minutes of each other. Awesome day for someone afraid of needles!

As a bit of an update on my post yesterday, I'm feeling a little better mood-wise, but I know that my attitude about the "issue" still needs some work. It doesn't directly apply, but I was given a Bible verse that really helped to make me look at why I'm reacting the way I am. Philippians 2:1-11. I guess it's times like this that really brings home the fact that while we may strive to be like Christ, we are still human and are very selfish beings. I may feel affected by the situation, but I need to learn how to approach it with humility and grace. And there's no way I'm going to get there on my own.

A struggle of sorts

Have you ever felt like you have so much to be thankful for and yet something so small just nags at your feelings and ruins your day? I'm struggling a bit with that right now. Something that shouldn't bother me at all is completely taking over my thoughts and making me upset and cranky. I guess I have to attribute some of it to being overloaded with pregnancy hormones, but I know a lot of it is a genuine struggle that I need to spend some time in prayer over. It's so silly and I have so much to be happy about, but that doesn't change how it's making me feel. I guess I need to have some personal time with God today. Maybe I'll be able to have a happy post later....

A very weird mood

I'm in one of my weird moods again where I feel like I should be doing something useful or interesting....but there's nothing there. Nothing to do. Sure, I could putter around the apartment cleaning something (although it's pretty tidy right now), but that's not the kind of something I want. I don't know, I guess occasionally I feel like a very boring individual. Like I need to get a job or plan ultra-interesting things for us to do as a family. I like being a stay-at-home mommy, so it's not like I really want or need the extra stress and commitment of a job. I just feel like I should be contributing financially sometimes. But there's no way I'd put my kids in daycare (especially once I have a newborn) and daycare costs would just take all of whatever paycheck I was getting anyway. So what's the point? John and I have had this discussion MANY times and he prefers me staying home while the kids are little. He has said that he thinks it would be good for me to find some sort of "hobby" to do that I could sell on eBay or something. And I do agree (oh, how I would love it). But eBay selling can be very hit or miss and I might just end up wasting time and money by trying it. So I'm back where I was.

It's also a little frustrating to hear about all sorts of fun things that other families do. We don't do many fun things as a family and it can really suck. With John working full time and going to school 3 nights a week and working on his senior project on the weekends.....that doesn't leave much time to do anything. And the free time that IS there, well, John wants to spend that precious free time relaxing at home. And honestly, I can't blame him. If I were gone that much, I'd want to be at home as much as possible too. Problem there is that I'm not gone that much. I'm at home that much. I like going outside and doing things with my family, but it just doesn't happen. We are planning on going to a pumpkin patch on Sunday afternoon though. Aiden will get to choose his own pumpkin and I hear they have free hay rides, so that should be fun. I'm looking forward to seeing if they have any apple butter in the farm store (yum yum!). It's supposed to be sunny, so I'm expecting a gorgeous fall day for this rare family outing.

I know this won't last forever. John will be done with school soon and the kids will get to be school-age and I'll get a small job. It's hard to struggle with feeling completely useless, especially when deep down I know that I'm not. I'm raising a very confident, independent, healthy little boy and will be providing him with a little brother to boss around. My husband is happy, my home is clean, and we have no major complaints. So why do I feel useless? I don't know. And if anyone can give me some sort of insight, I'd be eternally grateful.

Aiden really likes blackberry cobbler!

John had been asking for blackberry cobbler and so I decided to give it a try. I have never made a cobbler in my life (more the cake and brownies kind of gal), but we all thought it turned out really well. Especially Aiden. Just look!
He tends to shove food that he likes into his mouth with his whole hand.

Yep, mommy can see that you like it. You've been caught.

A spoon AND a fork! You know it's good when it's all over your face and you use 2 utensils. I guess I'll be making this cobbler a little more often now. And being pregnant, I've been thinking about it since I woke up this morning. So sad how food controls my life....

Oh boy

Mondays happen to be the most difficult day of the week in general. I have to adjust to the weekend being over and John going back to work, but on top of it John doesn't come home until nearly 10:30pm. That leaves me with no help all day and I have to put Aiden to bed by myself. This means Aiden doesn't see daddy at all on Mondays, as he doesn't get up until after John leaves for work.
We ended up with a bit of a rough weekend with Aiden and I don't really know why. He was very fussy and nothing much made him happy. At least he behaved himself at grandma's for a while yesterday! But he woke up crying today (not like him at all) and he's been ultra-fussy since then. Again, nothing is making him happy and I just don't know what to do. I can only hope he'll take a nap this afternoon. Maybe that's why he's getting crabbier and crabbier. He's been refusing naps a couple of days a week. He looks so tired all the time, but you can't force a kid to sleep.

Speaking of sleep, I am exhausted beyond belief. I didn't get great sleep for a couple nights, even though I was really tired. I went to bed early last night because I felt like I was about to collapse, but I still ended up laying there for an hour. I finally took a unisom (thank the Lord they are safe during pregnancy!) to help get me to sleep and that seemed to do the trick. I felt like I slept fairly well during the night, but I woke up feeling like I haven't slept in days. As you can imagine, that's making today all the more awesome to deal with. I'll definitely attempt a nap while Aiden is down for his, but I haven't been able to actually nap for about 2 months. My brain just won't shut off.

This last trimester is going to be really hard if things keep going like this. I can only take it one week at a time, but today I'm having to fight to even take it one hour at a time. I'd pray for patience, but I don't know that it's exactly what I need today.

Various events and photos to go along!

Since we finally have some recent photos of us, I thought I might share a few of them. Aiden's birthday happened recently and we got some pretty cute pictures from that. John also took some belly pics of me, so I guess people might want to see those too. :^)
Daddy was trying very hard to get Aiden to blow out his candle. Problem is, we've done such a good job in teaching Aiden that fire is hot, he wanted nothing to do with it! Daddy finally blew out the candle for him, but we all applauded anyway. Oh well, maybe next year.

He received lots of fun, beautiful gifts and all he wanted was the box that his Little Tykes slide came in.

Aiden is such a cutie in this picture! You can sort of see my tummy and how it is taking over my body. Please ignore how exhausted I appear.

Here's a real belly pic though. I was actually asked, jokingly, when the twins were due! I suppose what might be a normal pregnant belly on a normal sized person looks pretty big on me! I do feel a bit like a house already.

A baby already?

I'm part of a Due Date Club on a pregnancy website and it's been great to have ladies to "talk" to who know exactly what it all feels like right now. I love having the message board to go to every day. Those of us that post regularly have gotten to be pretty close and these women have begun to feel like friends. That makes it all the more difficult when one of them goes through a difficult time. There have been a couple of ladies who lost their babies during the 2nd trimester and I have to admit that I shed some tears for them. It seems though, that we officially have our first birth for the group! A little early for comfort (28 weeks), but the baby is in the NICU on a ventilator and seems to be doing fine. Odd thing is, there might be another birth happening (or already happened) but until we get an update, we won't know for sure.
It feels so weird. I don't know why. I've gotten really excited this week about having this baby and I guess knowing ladies who are having their babies already just ups that excitement. I know that they have a long road ahead of them in dealing with preemies, so I don't really envy them in that respect. Hearing about the births though just makes this all the more real. I think it may be time to really go through the boxes of baby clothes in Aiden's closet!

The pediatrician has been found!

Thank goodness! I had chosen this pediatric clinic out of a magazine and they just happened to be on our insurance list, so I was hoping it would work. I had never had to search for a pediatrician before. I had been a little spoiled by having been basically handed such an awesome doctor during the time we had Kaiser, so I was little skeptical about this whole thing. This was, however, our second time in this office. The first time wasn't quite perfect.
Aiden needed to be seen a little over a month ago, but the doctor I wanted was out of town so we had to settle on seeing whoever was available. She was nice and helpful, but Aiden just didn't like her very much. I don't really know why. He just screamed every time she touched him. True, he is used to having a male doctor, but I thought boys tended not to care as much. I liked everything about the office, but he just didn't like this doctor. So when it came time for him to be seen for his 2 year checkup, I requested the guy I had wanted initially.
I had chosen this guy because in his bio on their website, he was very open about his faith and how he brings it into how he practices. So we finally saw him and he was great! Aiden didn't make a sound when he examined him and he really kept the poking and prodding very minimal. He didn't even make Aiden get naked for the exam! We had gotten pretty used to "diapers only" for exams at Kaiser. It all went so fast and yet everything was covered. He answered any questions we had, dicussed Aiden's immunizations, and even checked up on how Aiden's previous issue was doing and gave us further instructions for it. I asked him if he was open to being put down as the pediatician for Nathan when he's born and he said absolutely. Of course, he also said that we could have a small mass of children and he'd be their pediatrician.....I don't think we'll take him up on that though!
The most awesome thing about this checkup was when Aiden got his flu shot and didn't even flinch! I don't know how the nurse did it....she must have magic hands. Aiden has always been a screamer when it comes to shots. Definitely makes this office a keeper in my book.

Trying to save and live happily

With only about 90 days (or less!) to go before we bring another person into this family, I am realizing the importance of saving as much money as possible. I read that the cost of a new baby in the first year is around $10,000. While I don't believe we spent nearly that much during Aiden's first year (thanks in big part to no medical co-pay on well-child visits and lots of gifts from family), it still makes a good point that babies really do cost a lot of money.

John has always been really good at keeping track of our finances and paying our bills on time. But even with all he does to keep us steady, we still seem to spend more than we should. Now that it's become extremely important to me to learn how to save us money, I'm trying to figure out things to do. How to shop better, how to fully use everything in my kitchen, how to cut out the extra little things that we really don't need. I can't work, so bringing in extra money isn't really an option. But I want to be a part of our financial future and help us to live to the absolute fullest. So, how do I do it?

I wish I had a bunch of answers. I'm trying to research all I can online with ways to save, but most of them don't really apply to us very much and we actually already do a lot of it. That's not to say that I haven't found ANY good tips, just not as many I was hoping for. Does that mean we're stuck? No, but it means that it may take a little while for us to really see any effects of extra saving. I know every little bit helps, but I am a very impatient person when it comes to this kind of thing. I like results immediately. The hardest part of all of this will be the waiting. I have to teach myself to stick to it all and not just assume that everything I'm doing isn't making any difference. If I don't, I'm likely to fall right back into the same behaviors and then of course no difference will be made. Frustrating, but also a little exciting at the same time. I welcome the challenge.

There are things that I already do to try to save us a little here and there. I keep every gift bag and tissue paper that we receive. That way, when we have a gift to give someone else, the wrapping is taken care of. It really comes in handy around Christmas when our costs are high to begin with. I invested in a huge cook book. Learning how to cook more and more things and really put to use every ingredient we buy helps us to cut down on eating out and buying pre-prepared foods. We still are eating out more than we need to though, so this is an area that really needs continued work for it to be successful. I've also realized that at Aiden's age, it doesn't make sense to buy all new clothes every time he grows out of what he's got. I just went clothes shopping for him at Value Village and got barely worn brand name shirts and pants for him for $23. Pants and shirts that would have cost me around $75 brand new. The only thing we bought for him new this time were shoes and pjs.

In attempting to live "frugally", I don't want to feel limited or poor. Mainly because we're not, so it would be silly to feel that way. But I know that by making pizza instead of ordering out for it, we'll be able to feel good about taking a date night and not have to worry if that nice dinner is going to break the bank. And I know that it will all start to really show in the years to come. My next step? Creating a Christmas budget.....

Such boney feet!

I've hit that point in the pregnancy where the baby is going to be extremely active for a few weeks, until he gets too cramped in there. Now, I don't mind feeling my child move and if he stopped moving, I would be extremely concerned. But can't he just take a break every once in a while? I'm getting beaten up from the inside! He's kicking and elbowing and punching and kneeing....you get the idea. I ended up with a very visible heel sticking out of my side earlier today. Cute, but ouch.
He has been a little less active today than he has been the past few days (and nights) and this is good. I needed a rest from getting pummeled. But now that he's slightly calmer, my whole stomach hurts! It's the kind of muscle-achy kind of thing you get if you'd done a bunch of sit ups. It's nothing to be worried about or so I read. It's genuine muscle aches from the baby beating me up! I guess babies can actually bruise you from the inside if they are active enough. Here I am, being so nice as to let him use my womb and this is the thanks I get! Kids just don't know what we go through for them.

In other news, Aiden's party was great and I think everyone had a good time. I was surprised how much people enjoyed the food! I thought it was all pretty basic stuff, but hey, it's great to hear and I won't complain. Aiden is enjoying his gifts and I'm enjoying the fact that it's all over with. I absolutely love having people over, but there's just something satisfying about it all being done with. Now, my source of stress will come strictly from preparing for this baby emotionally, environmentally, and financially.

Changing providers for delivery

I met with a brand new midwife today in a completely different office. I was so nervous about switching this far along in the pregnancy, but they were so nice and didn't care that I was over half-way done. I couldn't be happier with my new choice. I just wish I would have gone with this place to begin with. I could have....I knew about them and they were actually on our insurance list at the very top. But for some reason, I just went with the other people. And there was no REAL problem with the other office. I had no trouble with the midwife or the way I was treated at all. It's just that when I was told they wouldn't be delivering at my hospital of choice (and the one that I really need to go to because of time concerns), I was very disappointed. After a few weeks of thought about it, John and I decided that it just wasn't going to work for us. It sucks, but these things happen.

I feel so comfortable with the new midwife though. And the nurse and the office staff. Which is more than I can say I felt about the other place. I can't quite center in on it, but there was just something that never really quite settled with me about the other office. For some reason, they just didn't feel as welcoming as this new place. I am finally happy about my decision for this delivery. She spent nearly 40 minutes with me just going over the pregnancy and how I wanted things to go. She listened to the heartbeat and it was so strong today. I love hearing my baby! We're measuring right on schedule and everything looks good. Next time....the glucose test. Yummy yummy.....

Passing the time

I know we have a few weeks yet, but I'm glancing around online trying to get an idea for a Halloween costume. I don't even know what we're doing for Halloween yet, but I'd like to be prepared if the occasion calls for it.
There's really not a lot out there that I would consider. There's the typical paint your tummy like a pumpkin thing. But it's been done too many times to be cute. I saw a Hershey's Kiss costume....boy, that thing is NOT flattering! And then I guess there's the "pregnant nun" and some Renaissance costumes that aren't really meant to flaunt the belly, just fit it. I think I'm going to stick with my original idea of dressing up like Nicole Richie. We're both uber-tiny and around the same point in our pregnancies. All I'd have to buy is a pair of really big sunglasses! Maybe I can convince John to dress up like a member of the papparazzi....

I think I'm not really focusing on dressing up the right person though. Aiden has no costume and I know he'd enjoy trick-or-treating this year. He was dressed as a cow last year and didn't really understand when we took him around to get candy. Plus the weather was nasty and the wind was just biting. Not an ideal night for his first experience with it. John wants to dress him up as an orphan. I'm still a little blah on that idea, but I haven't come across anything better. Maybe we need to do a little shopping without daddy. Hmm...I guess I know what we'll be doing on Monday!

A toddler, no sleep, housework...oh my!

It was the oddest day. Aiden turned into someone who I don't believe is my child, but maybe I'm wrong. He got into everything he could possibly get into. Stuff that he KNOWS is off-limits. He even climbed John's desk to get to the phone! Not to mention the 15+ temper tantrums he threw today. He had so much energy, but I'm completely baffled as to how he got it. He was put to bed about an hour late last night (we were too lazy to get up off the couch from watching The Office) and then he stayed up until midnight, talking to himself or whatever animals he has in his crib. He then woke up earlier than he normally does and then refused to take a nap this afternoon. I put him down for one, but he sat in his room yelling for nearly 2 hours. I just don't get it. Surprisingly, through all of this, I was able to get a lot of work done. All in all, there wasn't really that much to do. Just a bunch of small projects here and there that went rather quickly.
John got home late from work and once we had dinner, we loaded Aiden into the car to go get food for the birthday party tomorrow. We decided to try Thriftway, because it's closer and we thought MIGHT be a little cheaper than Fred Meyer. I don't know why they have "thrift" in their name - I think we spent more than we would have at Freddy's. It was a little absurd.
Once we got back into the car to go home, we hear Aiden rustling around in the grocery bags. Ok, we'd set them right next to him and he'd be getting into stuff all day, so why would we be surprised? Not a few moments had passed when we hear crunching coming from the backseat! Aiden had gotten out the broccoli and was helping himself to it! At least he chose the veggies and not the marshmallows...
This day was just ever so slightly insane. Yes, I was productive and I don't feel very stressed about tomorrow (unusual for me). So now, I'm going to get ready for bed, take some Benadryl, and wait for it to knock me into unconsciousness.

Colds are so awesome.

Ok, so maybe I'm being a little sarcastic. I just really did not need this right now. Today, this week, even this pregnancy. I'm desperately attempting to get my apartment ready for Aiden's birthday party this Saturday and things just keep coming up to derail my efforts. I did a lot of work last week, but then I didn't clean all weekend (not a huge change, it's our family time). Then I ended up with a case of tendinitis in my knee Sunday evening and I had to take a few days off from doing virtually anything so it could heal. You can imagine how an active toddler would take full advantage of that situation. Yesterday was spent un-doing the damage that was done over 4-5 days of no cleaning. Finally....things were getting there again! And then around 6pm last night, this stupid cold hit. I slept horribly, I can't breathe, my throat hurts, and my sinuses are in so much pain. I have no energy and barely any appetite (great for the baby, I'm sure).
Bottom line here: Unless I want to have extended family over to a very messy apartment, I've got to fight how I feel and clean like a madwoman. Sure, no one expects me to keep my home looking magazine perfect. Especially with a 2 year old and largely pregnant. But I would like to imagine that when people come over and see how clean and shiny everything is, they will think that maybe, just maybe....I'm supermom. Ok, I'm not completely serious with that and you can stop laughing now.
I just feel blah and I have so much to do still. Once I get past Saturday, I can relax a little and have a nice date with my hubby Sunday evening. Can we say hooray for grandparents who like to keep their grandchildren overnight?

The day he was born....

It's true. My baby boy is 2 today. I didn't really feel like this when he turned 1, although I'm not quite sure why. I'm almost a little sad that he's not my baby (by the technical sense of the word) anymore. But at the same time, I'm so proud of the little kid he's becoming and how his independence grows every day.
Maybe this is just from being pregnant, but I've been thinking a lot about his birth and what it was like to finally hold that little baby in my arms after 9 months of waiting. I wanted to cry from the joy, but was too exhausted for any tears to come. I remember that all I could do when they set him in my arms was stare at his little scrunched up face in awe. I just kept saying, "Hi...". I couldn't think of any other words. I didn't want to let him out of my arms and would refuse to let him sleep in the hospital bassinet, even if it was right next to my bed.
And then of course, we took him home and reality set in and I thought to myself, "What in the world am I going to do with this baby?". I sat on the couch, crying, clutching Aiden to me. And it was all out of fear that I was going to fail miserably as a mother to this little person who looked to ME to keep him alive. It's a huge task. All I can say is that God must have so much trust in us to just hand us a mini-person to take care of. And I must have done a good enough job because I'm going to be handed another one in 3 months. :^)
Well Aiden, happy 2nd birthday. The first babies are always kind of the test babies, so I hope you're not too un-balanced. We love you.