I'm Alive

Yes, I'm alive. Blogging has been on my mind for the last 2 1/2 weeks, but to be honest, I've been a little burnt out with life and couldn't bring myself to sit and write anything. I'm still burnt out and overwhelmed with various tasks (oh how happy I am that I took this term off from school!), but I wanted to acknowledge that we're here and I will blog about things like....

Aiden has started soccer. We took a weekend trip to the coast to visit Laura and Kevin and had tons'o'fun! I'm in the midst of re-decorating/finally decorating various areas of the house. We're still going to family counseling to work through parenting struggles. I finally found a dance studio to take ballet classes. The boys have said and done strange things. Our fish died. One of my best friends from childhood was diagnosed with non-hodgkin's lymphoma. I've tried some yummy new recipes that I'll need to share. Our church started a new Saturday night service and it's amazing and works SO much better for us. And many other things.

I will blog again!

Home

I am home. Thank you to everyone who kept my family in prayer as we attended the service for my cousin yesterday. It was such a blessing to get to attend. While the grief was heavy, we were all able to talk and laugh and just simply be together. It was a very long day (especially since I got up at 4am to get to the airport and then didn't get to sleep until 11:30pm), and very emotional. We were all visibly drained by dinnertime. Watching the graveside service was extremely difficult. I had to walk away at one point as my cousin Bethany nearly collapsed, crying out in grief. I absolutely hated seeing my family in so much pain. The loss of Ben does not make sense and it is not fair.

The trip was short, but I was ready to head back home. Sleep was not easy to come by last night, as I had to process the new details I'd been told regarding the accident and just simply process the loss that had become very, very real throughout the course of the day. It also didn't help that a windstorm hit around 2am and the gusts kept crashing against the side of my aunt's house where I was sleeping. The plane ride home was very turbulent and stressful. So I'm exhausted, tense, sad, and missing Ben terribly.

While we didn't get to see each other much growing up due to my uncle Kevin being in the military, I enjoyed spending time with him whenever it happened (even though I had been disappointed that my first cousin hadn't been a girl). We had finally connected on facebook a few years ago. When they were finally preparing to move to Idaho and be closer to family, we both expressed our excitement over hopefully seeing each other more often. When John and I and the boys drove over in November of 2011, I remember Ben's message to me the day before we began the trip over there: "I am so excited to see you again". I was welcomed with a hug when we arrived and more hugs when the trip came to a close. Ben loved every single member of his family, extended and immediate, and he made sure that he showed it. He was really a great guy.

Obituary

For those interested, here is my cousin's obituary. He will be (and already is!) greatly missed. Please keep us all in thought and prayer as we gather to say goodbye to him on Friday.

Benjamin M. Morse
November 3, 1989 - April 5, 2013,

Benjamin Michael Morse, 23, of Melba, died Friday, April 5, 2013, at a Boise hospital from injuries sustained in a vehicle accident. A graveside service will be at 2:00PM on Friday, April 12, at the Melba Cemetery, under the direction of Flahiff Funeral Chapel, Caldwell. The family requests casual dress as Ben was a t-shirt, shorts, and flip flops kind of guy. Ben was born November 3, 1989 at Ft. Walton Beach, Florida, a son of Kevin and Robin Buckles Morse. While his father was serving in the military he lived in various states. He moved to Melba with his family in 2011. Ben was a "hugger," and enjoyed music, writing and all kinds of games. In high school he played the trumpet and was in the marching band at North Pulaski High School in Jacksonville, Arkansas and also at Mascoutah High School in Mascoutah, Illinois where he graduated in 2008. He is survived by his parents, 3 brothers, Jon, Brett, Jacob, a little sister Bethany, grandparents Frank and Peggy Morse, and Jean Buckles, and several aunts, uncles and cousins. Ben's online guestbook is available at www.flahifffuneralchapel.com

A Little More Prayer

I'd like to ask for a little more prayer from those of you who wish to add some to your prayer lists. It has worked out so that I am able to attend my cousin's funeral this coming Friday. I need to say a huge thank you to everyone who has done something to assist with making that happen. It means so much to me and I cried a bit this afternoon from feeling so blessed with friends and family who are willing to help out.

Here are the prayer needs:

-For safe travel for me on Friday and coming back on Saturday. I fly out Friday morning at 6:45am (yuck) and return the next afternoon around 3pm.

-For John, who will be taking his engineering licensing exam on Friday while I'm away. He will be in testing all day and then is on his own with the boys until the following afternoon.

-For my cousin Bethany. She is having a very hard time emotionally since the accident and is missing her brother very much.

-For my aunt and uncle. Obviously they have had so much on their plate since the accident, and setting up funeral arrangements today was extremely difficult for them.

-For the person who caused the accident. This is hard for me to ask for - I have a lot of anger towards the individual (who I do not know), but I can only assume that this has had a huge impact on him and his family, and that they are in need of prayer as well.

Ben

Thank you to everyone who is praying for my family after my cousin was killed in a car accident last night. Prayers are still needed as we work through the grief, especially for my Aunt Robin and Uncle Kevin as they deal with the loss of a child.

At about 8pm last night, my cousin Ben Morse (23 yrs old) was driving with his sister Bethany (13 yrs old) in Nampa, Idaho. A driver in a pickup truck ran a stop sign and collided with Ben's Kia, hitting it directly on the driver's side, flipping it multiple times. Ben, Bethany, and the other driver were all transported to the hospital. Ben was not able to survive his injuries and passed away at the hospital. Bethany is bruised and has a cracked sternum, and is struggling emotionally very much now that they've told her that Ben didn't make it. As far as I know, they will be releasing her from the hospital today.

I am hoping to make it over to Idaho for the service, but things are complicated with John's work and the boys' school schedules.

Thank you all again for the prayers and to those of you who have offered assistance in various ways. It is all greatly appreciated.

Prayer for a Loss

I received a call this evening letting me know that my cousins Ben and Bethany were in a car accident. Ben was driving and he did not survive the accident. Bethany is in the hospital, but I don't know the extent of her injuries. My uncle was overseas for work and is being flown back immediately, but won't get back until tomorrow. Obviously, my aunt is not doing well and my other cousins are overwhelmed with grief. Needless to say, we're all a little numb right now. Please keep my family in prayer.

Easter and Seattle

We had an amazing Easter weekend in Seattle visiting my dad and doing all sorts of tourist-y things. I am so happy we decided to make the trip and give ourselves an extra day (John took Friday off so we could so a day early). I don't think we would have gone wandering around Seattle for an afternoon if we hadn't had the extra day, and it really made it feel like a mini-vacation.

Friday started off, well, not so great. It took us over an hour to get out of Portland because of a stalled semi on the Interstate Bridge. I was not sad to leave Portland behind as we finally got into Washington. Grrr. A little over four hours later, we arrived at my dad's and relaxed for the rest of the day - eating and watching movies.

On Saturday morning, we went to my dad's church to take part in the Easter egg hunt. It was fantastic to see so many people who I don't get to see very often (I attended there as well when I was younger), and the boys had a wonderful time. The field was cleared of eggs in under a minute! Nathan had his picture taken with the Easter bunny, but Aiden refused to go anywhere near it (I don't blame him - those costumes are terrifying).

There was a bouncy house and I somehow managed to get a picture of just the boys bouncing and Nathan in mid-air!

After lunch, we headed to downtown and after dealing with some Seattle traffic (they needed to close three lanes of I-5 because why?), we paid a very tourist price of $12 to park right next to the Space Needle. The weather was SO beautiful!

 Nathan was thrilled to be there, can't you tell?

 I made sure to have John take my picture with the Pacific Northwest Ballet sign. I saw my first ballet there when I was three.

The boys ran back and forth from us to the fountain many, many times.

It was honestly so relaxing to walk through the Seattle Center and show the boys all the spots where I spent a good portion of my childhood. It made me really miss Seattle.

After we were done walking around, we took the boys on the monorail. They had never been on a monorail before and Aiden was extremely excited (he is very into trains).

Nathan was....indifferent.

We took a round-trip ride on the monorail and then hopped in the car to head to Pike Place Market where we all suddenly became quite hungry. We hadn't really planned on having dinner in Seattle and it was only 4:15, but all that walking around had worked up an appetite. We walked through and randomly chose a restaurant. As we waited for the host to check on a table, I looked over at the counter and saw a little sign. "Tom Hanks Sat Here: Sleepless in Seattle". I squealed with delight (I love that movie!!) and ran over to have my picture taken.

The host came back and took us upstairs where we were greeted with this view from our table. This was to our left:

And this was to our right...

What a gorgeous, gorgeous day! We gorged ourselves on a calamari appetizer, the boys on grilled cheese and corndogs, me on a HUGE double decker club sandwich (I ate the leftovers for two meals following that one!), and John on salmon. So delicious.

Then we headed back to my dad's (after getting stuck in some more traffic out of Pike Place trying to get to I-5) where John and I scrapped our plans to have my dad babysit the boys so we could go out for our anniversary. It had been a perfect afternoon (minus the traffic) and a wonderful way to celebrate our anniversary with our boys. We were happily exhausted!

 We celebrated Easter at my dad's church on Sunday morning (I took no pictures), had lunch and watched Wreck It Ralph before packing up and heading back to Portland. The drive was a lot faster this time. We really couldn't have asked for a better weekend.