My midwife's office is flat out amazing!

I took the glucose test yesterday morning and when they took my blood sample, they told me that it would be a week before the results came back. I just got a phone call from them saying that they had received my results this afternoon and everything looks great! I guess the lab really had nothing else to do.... I am just amazed. I can't believe they got the results back to me so quickly and even took the time to call me when they said they'd only call if things were abnormal. I am very happy that I passed, but I wasn't too concerned about it (I mean, look at me!). I am more pleased that I have no signs of anemia and I'm actually a little surprised about it. I fully expected to be at least a little since I was with Aiden. Thank the Lord for removing that risk with this pregnancy!
All in all, except for my asthma being a little worse and slightly overworking myself at times, this pregnancy looks great. It still feels hard on my body (oh, the aching) and I'm feeling ready for this to be the last, but I'm very glad that things are about as normal as they can be. I know not everyone can be so lucky. The little blessings we take for granted sometimes.....

Yum....glucose!!

Note the sarcasm there in the title. I had my glucose tolerance test this morning and I guess it went about as well as it can go. At least this time I was able to drink it at home, so I could make as many nasty faces and noises as I pleased. With Aiden, they had to watch me drink it in the doctor's office and then I had to sit around for an hour waiting to get my blood drawn. I didn't have too much sitting around this time, although they nearly missed the window to get the blood sample. I had to remind them that it had been an hour since I'd finished the stuff; they almost forgot me! I would have been so angry if they had forgotten and I would have had to take the stupid test all over again. They'll get the results back in one week, but will only call if I fail. Otherwise, I just get to wait another 2 weeks until my next appointment to have it discussed with me. They're also checking for anemia, which I'm more concerned about actually having. I don't think it's very likely that I have GD.
I also got a flu shot, which didn't hurt too badly at the time, but now my arm is WAY sore. Yay for getting poked twice in the same arm, within 20 minutes of each other. Awesome day for someone afraid of needles!

As a bit of an update on my post yesterday, I'm feeling a little better mood-wise, but I know that my attitude about the "issue" still needs some work. It doesn't directly apply, but I was given a Bible verse that really helped to make me look at why I'm reacting the way I am. Philippians 2:1-11. I guess it's times like this that really brings home the fact that while we may strive to be like Christ, we are still human and are very selfish beings. I may feel affected by the situation, but I need to learn how to approach it with humility and grace. And there's no way I'm going to get there on my own.

A struggle of sorts

Have you ever felt like you have so much to be thankful for and yet something so small just nags at your feelings and ruins your day? I'm struggling a bit with that right now. Something that shouldn't bother me at all is completely taking over my thoughts and making me upset and cranky. I guess I have to attribute some of it to being overloaded with pregnancy hormones, but I know a lot of it is a genuine struggle that I need to spend some time in prayer over. It's so silly and I have so much to be happy about, but that doesn't change how it's making me feel. I guess I need to have some personal time with God today. Maybe I'll be able to have a happy post later....

A very weird mood

I'm in one of my weird moods again where I feel like I should be doing something useful or interesting....but there's nothing there. Nothing to do. Sure, I could putter around the apartment cleaning something (although it's pretty tidy right now), but that's not the kind of something I want. I don't know, I guess occasionally I feel like a very boring individual. Like I need to get a job or plan ultra-interesting things for us to do as a family. I like being a stay-at-home mommy, so it's not like I really want or need the extra stress and commitment of a job. I just feel like I should be contributing financially sometimes. But there's no way I'd put my kids in daycare (especially once I have a newborn) and daycare costs would just take all of whatever paycheck I was getting anyway. So what's the point? John and I have had this discussion MANY times and he prefers me staying home while the kids are little. He has said that he thinks it would be good for me to find some sort of "hobby" to do that I could sell on eBay or something. And I do agree (oh, how I would love it). But eBay selling can be very hit or miss and I might just end up wasting time and money by trying it. So I'm back where I was.

It's also a little frustrating to hear about all sorts of fun things that other families do. We don't do many fun things as a family and it can really suck. With John working full time and going to school 3 nights a week and working on his senior project on the weekends.....that doesn't leave much time to do anything. And the free time that IS there, well, John wants to spend that precious free time relaxing at home. And honestly, I can't blame him. If I were gone that much, I'd want to be at home as much as possible too. Problem there is that I'm not gone that much. I'm at home that much. I like going outside and doing things with my family, but it just doesn't happen. We are planning on going to a pumpkin patch on Sunday afternoon though. Aiden will get to choose his own pumpkin and I hear they have free hay rides, so that should be fun. I'm looking forward to seeing if they have any apple butter in the farm store (yum yum!). It's supposed to be sunny, so I'm expecting a gorgeous fall day for this rare family outing.

I know this won't last forever. John will be done with school soon and the kids will get to be school-age and I'll get a small job. It's hard to struggle with feeling completely useless, especially when deep down I know that I'm not. I'm raising a very confident, independent, healthy little boy and will be providing him with a little brother to boss around. My husband is happy, my home is clean, and we have no major complaints. So why do I feel useless? I don't know. And if anyone can give me some sort of insight, I'd be eternally grateful.

Aiden really likes blackberry cobbler!

John had been asking for blackberry cobbler and so I decided to give it a try. I have never made a cobbler in my life (more the cake and brownies kind of gal), but we all thought it turned out really well. Especially Aiden. Just look!
He tends to shove food that he likes into his mouth with his whole hand.

Yep, mommy can see that you like it. You've been caught.

A spoon AND a fork! You know it's good when it's all over your face and you use 2 utensils. I guess I'll be making this cobbler a little more often now. And being pregnant, I've been thinking about it since I woke up this morning. So sad how food controls my life....

Oh boy

Mondays happen to be the most difficult day of the week in general. I have to adjust to the weekend being over and John going back to work, but on top of it John doesn't come home until nearly 10:30pm. That leaves me with no help all day and I have to put Aiden to bed by myself. This means Aiden doesn't see daddy at all on Mondays, as he doesn't get up until after John leaves for work.
We ended up with a bit of a rough weekend with Aiden and I don't really know why. He was very fussy and nothing much made him happy. At least he behaved himself at grandma's for a while yesterday! But he woke up crying today (not like him at all) and he's been ultra-fussy since then. Again, nothing is making him happy and I just don't know what to do. I can only hope he'll take a nap this afternoon. Maybe that's why he's getting crabbier and crabbier. He's been refusing naps a couple of days a week. He looks so tired all the time, but you can't force a kid to sleep.

Speaking of sleep, I am exhausted beyond belief. I didn't get great sleep for a couple nights, even though I was really tired. I went to bed early last night because I felt like I was about to collapse, but I still ended up laying there for an hour. I finally took a unisom (thank the Lord they are safe during pregnancy!) to help get me to sleep and that seemed to do the trick. I felt like I slept fairly well during the night, but I woke up feeling like I haven't slept in days. As you can imagine, that's making today all the more awesome to deal with. I'll definitely attempt a nap while Aiden is down for his, but I haven't been able to actually nap for about 2 months. My brain just won't shut off.

This last trimester is going to be really hard if things keep going like this. I can only take it one week at a time, but today I'm having to fight to even take it one hour at a time. I'd pray for patience, but I don't know that it's exactly what I need today.

Various events and photos to go along!

Since we finally have some recent photos of us, I thought I might share a few of them. Aiden's birthday happened recently and we got some pretty cute pictures from that. John also took some belly pics of me, so I guess people might want to see those too. :^)
Daddy was trying very hard to get Aiden to blow out his candle. Problem is, we've done such a good job in teaching Aiden that fire is hot, he wanted nothing to do with it! Daddy finally blew out the candle for him, but we all applauded anyway. Oh well, maybe next year.

He received lots of fun, beautiful gifts and all he wanted was the box that his Little Tykes slide came in.

Aiden is such a cutie in this picture! You can sort of see my tummy and how it is taking over my body. Please ignore how exhausted I appear.

Here's a real belly pic though. I was actually asked, jokingly, when the twins were due! I suppose what might be a normal pregnant belly on a normal sized person looks pretty big on me! I do feel a bit like a house already.

A baby already?

I'm part of a Due Date Club on a pregnancy website and it's been great to have ladies to "talk" to who know exactly what it all feels like right now. I love having the message board to go to every day. Those of us that post regularly have gotten to be pretty close and these women have begun to feel like friends. That makes it all the more difficult when one of them goes through a difficult time. There have been a couple of ladies who lost their babies during the 2nd trimester and I have to admit that I shed some tears for them. It seems though, that we officially have our first birth for the group! A little early for comfort (28 weeks), but the baby is in the NICU on a ventilator and seems to be doing fine. Odd thing is, there might be another birth happening (or already happened) but until we get an update, we won't know for sure.
It feels so weird. I don't know why. I've gotten really excited this week about having this baby and I guess knowing ladies who are having their babies already just ups that excitement. I know that they have a long road ahead of them in dealing with preemies, so I don't really envy them in that respect. Hearing about the births though just makes this all the more real. I think it may be time to really go through the boxes of baby clothes in Aiden's closet!

The pediatrician has been found!

Thank goodness! I had chosen this pediatric clinic out of a magazine and they just happened to be on our insurance list, so I was hoping it would work. I had never had to search for a pediatrician before. I had been a little spoiled by having been basically handed such an awesome doctor during the time we had Kaiser, so I was little skeptical about this whole thing. This was, however, our second time in this office. The first time wasn't quite perfect.
Aiden needed to be seen a little over a month ago, but the doctor I wanted was out of town so we had to settle on seeing whoever was available. She was nice and helpful, but Aiden just didn't like her very much. I don't really know why. He just screamed every time she touched him. True, he is used to having a male doctor, but I thought boys tended not to care as much. I liked everything about the office, but he just didn't like this doctor. So when it came time for him to be seen for his 2 year checkup, I requested the guy I had wanted initially.
I had chosen this guy because in his bio on their website, he was very open about his faith and how he brings it into how he practices. So we finally saw him and he was great! Aiden didn't make a sound when he examined him and he really kept the poking and prodding very minimal. He didn't even make Aiden get naked for the exam! We had gotten pretty used to "diapers only" for exams at Kaiser. It all went so fast and yet everything was covered. He answered any questions we had, dicussed Aiden's immunizations, and even checked up on how Aiden's previous issue was doing and gave us further instructions for it. I asked him if he was open to being put down as the pediatician for Nathan when he's born and he said absolutely. Of course, he also said that we could have a small mass of children and he'd be their pediatrician.....I don't think we'll take him up on that though!
The most awesome thing about this checkup was when Aiden got his flu shot and didn't even flinch! I don't know how the nurse did it....she must have magic hands. Aiden has always been a screamer when it comes to shots. Definitely makes this office a keeper in my book.

Trying to save and live happily

With only about 90 days (or less!) to go before we bring another person into this family, I am realizing the importance of saving as much money as possible. I read that the cost of a new baby in the first year is around $10,000. While I don't believe we spent nearly that much during Aiden's first year (thanks in big part to no medical co-pay on well-child visits and lots of gifts from family), it still makes a good point that babies really do cost a lot of money.

John has always been really good at keeping track of our finances and paying our bills on time. But even with all he does to keep us steady, we still seem to spend more than we should. Now that it's become extremely important to me to learn how to save us money, I'm trying to figure out things to do. How to shop better, how to fully use everything in my kitchen, how to cut out the extra little things that we really don't need. I can't work, so bringing in extra money isn't really an option. But I want to be a part of our financial future and help us to live to the absolute fullest. So, how do I do it?

I wish I had a bunch of answers. I'm trying to research all I can online with ways to save, but most of them don't really apply to us very much and we actually already do a lot of it. That's not to say that I haven't found ANY good tips, just not as many I was hoping for. Does that mean we're stuck? No, but it means that it may take a little while for us to really see any effects of extra saving. I know every little bit helps, but I am a very impatient person when it comes to this kind of thing. I like results immediately. The hardest part of all of this will be the waiting. I have to teach myself to stick to it all and not just assume that everything I'm doing isn't making any difference. If I don't, I'm likely to fall right back into the same behaviors and then of course no difference will be made. Frustrating, but also a little exciting at the same time. I welcome the challenge.

There are things that I already do to try to save us a little here and there. I keep every gift bag and tissue paper that we receive. That way, when we have a gift to give someone else, the wrapping is taken care of. It really comes in handy around Christmas when our costs are high to begin with. I invested in a huge cook book. Learning how to cook more and more things and really put to use every ingredient we buy helps us to cut down on eating out and buying pre-prepared foods. We still are eating out more than we need to though, so this is an area that really needs continued work for it to be successful. I've also realized that at Aiden's age, it doesn't make sense to buy all new clothes every time he grows out of what he's got. I just went clothes shopping for him at Value Village and got barely worn brand name shirts and pants for him for $23. Pants and shirts that would have cost me around $75 brand new. The only thing we bought for him new this time were shoes and pjs.

In attempting to live "frugally", I don't want to feel limited or poor. Mainly because we're not, so it would be silly to feel that way. But I know that by making pizza instead of ordering out for it, we'll be able to feel good about taking a date night and not have to worry if that nice dinner is going to break the bank. And I know that it will all start to really show in the years to come. My next step? Creating a Christmas budget.....

Such boney feet!

I've hit that point in the pregnancy where the baby is going to be extremely active for a few weeks, until he gets too cramped in there. Now, I don't mind feeling my child move and if he stopped moving, I would be extremely concerned. But can't he just take a break every once in a while? I'm getting beaten up from the inside! He's kicking and elbowing and punching and kneeing....you get the idea. I ended up with a very visible heel sticking out of my side earlier today. Cute, but ouch.
He has been a little less active today than he has been the past few days (and nights) and this is good. I needed a rest from getting pummeled. But now that he's slightly calmer, my whole stomach hurts! It's the kind of muscle-achy kind of thing you get if you'd done a bunch of sit ups. It's nothing to be worried about or so I read. It's genuine muscle aches from the baby beating me up! I guess babies can actually bruise you from the inside if they are active enough. Here I am, being so nice as to let him use my womb and this is the thanks I get! Kids just don't know what we go through for them.

In other news, Aiden's party was great and I think everyone had a good time. I was surprised how much people enjoyed the food! I thought it was all pretty basic stuff, but hey, it's great to hear and I won't complain. Aiden is enjoying his gifts and I'm enjoying the fact that it's all over with. I absolutely love having people over, but there's just something satisfying about it all being done with. Now, my source of stress will come strictly from preparing for this baby emotionally, environmentally, and financially.

Changing providers for delivery

I met with a brand new midwife today in a completely different office. I was so nervous about switching this far along in the pregnancy, but they were so nice and didn't care that I was over half-way done. I couldn't be happier with my new choice. I just wish I would have gone with this place to begin with. I could have....I knew about them and they were actually on our insurance list at the very top. But for some reason, I just went with the other people. And there was no REAL problem with the other office. I had no trouble with the midwife or the way I was treated at all. It's just that when I was told they wouldn't be delivering at my hospital of choice (and the one that I really need to go to because of time concerns), I was very disappointed. After a few weeks of thought about it, John and I decided that it just wasn't going to work for us. It sucks, but these things happen.

I feel so comfortable with the new midwife though. And the nurse and the office staff. Which is more than I can say I felt about the other place. I can't quite center in on it, but there was just something that never really quite settled with me about the other office. For some reason, they just didn't feel as welcoming as this new place. I am finally happy about my decision for this delivery. She spent nearly 40 minutes with me just going over the pregnancy and how I wanted things to go. She listened to the heartbeat and it was so strong today. I love hearing my baby! We're measuring right on schedule and everything looks good. Next time....the glucose test. Yummy yummy.....

Passing the time

I know we have a few weeks yet, but I'm glancing around online trying to get an idea for a Halloween costume. I don't even know what we're doing for Halloween yet, but I'd like to be prepared if the occasion calls for it.
There's really not a lot out there that I would consider. There's the typical paint your tummy like a pumpkin thing. But it's been done too many times to be cute. I saw a Hershey's Kiss costume....boy, that thing is NOT flattering! And then I guess there's the "pregnant nun" and some Renaissance costumes that aren't really meant to flaunt the belly, just fit it. I think I'm going to stick with my original idea of dressing up like Nicole Richie. We're both uber-tiny and around the same point in our pregnancies. All I'd have to buy is a pair of really big sunglasses! Maybe I can convince John to dress up like a member of the papparazzi....

I think I'm not really focusing on dressing up the right person though. Aiden has no costume and I know he'd enjoy trick-or-treating this year. He was dressed as a cow last year and didn't really understand when we took him around to get candy. Plus the weather was nasty and the wind was just biting. Not an ideal night for his first experience with it. John wants to dress him up as an orphan. I'm still a little blah on that idea, but I haven't come across anything better. Maybe we need to do a little shopping without daddy. Hmm...I guess I know what we'll be doing on Monday!

A toddler, no sleep, housework...oh my!

It was the oddest day. Aiden turned into someone who I don't believe is my child, but maybe I'm wrong. He got into everything he could possibly get into. Stuff that he KNOWS is off-limits. He even climbed John's desk to get to the phone! Not to mention the 15+ temper tantrums he threw today. He had so much energy, but I'm completely baffled as to how he got it. He was put to bed about an hour late last night (we were too lazy to get up off the couch from watching The Office) and then he stayed up until midnight, talking to himself or whatever animals he has in his crib. He then woke up earlier than he normally does and then refused to take a nap this afternoon. I put him down for one, but he sat in his room yelling for nearly 2 hours. I just don't get it. Surprisingly, through all of this, I was able to get a lot of work done. All in all, there wasn't really that much to do. Just a bunch of small projects here and there that went rather quickly.
John got home late from work and once we had dinner, we loaded Aiden into the car to go get food for the birthday party tomorrow. We decided to try Thriftway, because it's closer and we thought MIGHT be a little cheaper than Fred Meyer. I don't know why they have "thrift" in their name - I think we spent more than we would have at Freddy's. It was a little absurd.
Once we got back into the car to go home, we hear Aiden rustling around in the grocery bags. Ok, we'd set them right next to him and he'd be getting into stuff all day, so why would we be surprised? Not a few moments had passed when we hear crunching coming from the backseat! Aiden had gotten out the broccoli and was helping himself to it! At least he chose the veggies and not the marshmallows...
This day was just ever so slightly insane. Yes, I was productive and I don't feel very stressed about tomorrow (unusual for me). So now, I'm going to get ready for bed, take some Benadryl, and wait for it to knock me into unconsciousness.

Colds are so awesome.

Ok, so maybe I'm being a little sarcastic. I just really did not need this right now. Today, this week, even this pregnancy. I'm desperately attempting to get my apartment ready for Aiden's birthday party this Saturday and things just keep coming up to derail my efforts. I did a lot of work last week, but then I didn't clean all weekend (not a huge change, it's our family time). Then I ended up with a case of tendinitis in my knee Sunday evening and I had to take a few days off from doing virtually anything so it could heal. You can imagine how an active toddler would take full advantage of that situation. Yesterday was spent un-doing the damage that was done over 4-5 days of no cleaning. Finally....things were getting there again! And then around 6pm last night, this stupid cold hit. I slept horribly, I can't breathe, my throat hurts, and my sinuses are in so much pain. I have no energy and barely any appetite (great for the baby, I'm sure).
Bottom line here: Unless I want to have extended family over to a very messy apartment, I've got to fight how I feel and clean like a madwoman. Sure, no one expects me to keep my home looking magazine perfect. Especially with a 2 year old and largely pregnant. But I would like to imagine that when people come over and see how clean and shiny everything is, they will think that maybe, just maybe....I'm supermom. Ok, I'm not completely serious with that and you can stop laughing now.
I just feel blah and I have so much to do still. Once I get past Saturday, I can relax a little and have a nice date with my hubby Sunday evening. Can we say hooray for grandparents who like to keep their grandchildren overnight?

The day he was born....

It's true. My baby boy is 2 today. I didn't really feel like this when he turned 1, although I'm not quite sure why. I'm almost a little sad that he's not my baby (by the technical sense of the word) anymore. But at the same time, I'm so proud of the little kid he's becoming and how his independence grows every day.
Maybe this is just from being pregnant, but I've been thinking a lot about his birth and what it was like to finally hold that little baby in my arms after 9 months of waiting. I wanted to cry from the joy, but was too exhausted for any tears to come. I remember that all I could do when they set him in my arms was stare at his little scrunched up face in awe. I just kept saying, "Hi...". I couldn't think of any other words. I didn't want to let him out of my arms and would refuse to let him sleep in the hospital bassinet, even if it was right next to my bed.
And then of course, we took him home and reality set in and I thought to myself, "What in the world am I going to do with this baby?". I sat on the couch, crying, clutching Aiden to me. And it was all out of fear that I was going to fail miserably as a mother to this little person who looked to ME to keep him alive. It's a huge task. All I can say is that God must have so much trust in us to just hand us a mini-person to take care of. And I must have done a good enough job because I'm going to be handed another one in 3 months. :^)
Well Aiden, happy 2nd birthday. The first babies are always kind of the test babies, so I hope you're not too un-balanced. We love you.