When Parenting Sticks

Yep, it sticks. Not to the kids (well, hopefully it will - at least eventually), but to the adults' midsections. Let's brainstorm some reasons why.

Stress: There's a lot of stress involved with parenting and it's piled all on top of simply attempting to be an adult. The stress is there from the moment their sweet little heads leave the pillow in the morning to the moment they finally pass out at night. You notice I didn't say "when they go to bed". No no. Because there's usually someone who needs to pee, or is thirsty, or needs a snack (especially when they're on their third growth spurt in as many months), or has lost a teddy bear (I'm looking at you, Nathan), or is just trying to sneak out of their room because it sounded like a funny idea at the time.
At varying points during the day, there's little bursts of extra stress. Like discovering a poo smear on the bathroom floor and not having anyone take responsibility for it. Or like hearing your five year old from the bathroom, "No one's ever peed in the tub before!". This was after hearing the same five year old from a different bathroom saying, "My pee didn't go where I was expecting it to go....". Those are times where I may blank out momentarily to go to my happy place, but the stress arrived and it made its mark.

Bad food choices: You may be a parent who tries really hard to provide healthy, reasonable food options for your family. Or you may just buy whatever sounds good. Either way, you end up making bad food choices for yourself when you're a parent. I think this all has to do with feeling low on time. And when you feel low on time, you don't make yourself a well rounded, healthy meal and sit down to eat it like a normal human being. No, you grab the leftover peanut butter sandwich from your kid's plate, steal a bag of fruit snacks, cram it all in your face, and then move on to the next thing on the to-do list. Oh, and let's not forget the six cups of coffee to get you through the day.

Lack of sleep: Is there a parent on the face of the earth who gets enough sleep? I doubt it. And I'm not counting the celebrity parents who hire someone to get up with their kids in the night. I typically collapse in bed sometime around 1am. I'm up again at 7am, having been woken up at least once during the night by a child climbing into my bed. Do I wish I went to bed earlier? Every.Single.Morning. But in order to do my own homework, plus the end of the day housework, making lunches, taking a shower (which I have to do in order to get to sleep) and making some feeble attempt to relax and spend a little time with my husband, the evenings go by real fast.

Ok, so there is a point to all of this. John and I want to get in shape. Any "expert" will tell you that the people who are successful in that effort are ones who don't keep it a secret from everyone. Something about accountability and all that. For John, he wants to lose around 50 pounds. In my case, I've developed what most people would call a spare tire. I don't need to lost weight necessarily, but I need to take care of the belly fat. I'm "skinny fat" (you can read a Huffington Post article about it here). I took a picture of my midsection, but I'm too chicken to post it (yet), so you'll just have to trust me. Due to some hormonal changes over the past six months or so, I've gained about 15 pounds and it's pretty much all gone to my stomach. I'm uncomfortable, my clothes don't fit well anymore, and I've ripped open a pair of jeans while trying to put them on. It doesn't help the ego when that happens and my kids say, "Well mommy, you're beginning to get stout!".

So that's where we stand. We're making food changes and putting in an actual effort to exercise regularly -which is so much easier said than done. But hopefully once we start to see it paying off we'll get the motivation to keep going. And I think it helps that John and I are in this together. Because hey, if we can parent together, we can sure as heck get rid of the lingering parenting effects together.

Kindergarten

So Nathan is a kindergartener..... My baby. My little Nathan. I didn't cry - amazingly. I nearly did a couple of times, but John said I just turned red all over instead. Whatever it takes to keep from losing it in front of everyone, right?

But oh, Nathan was SO excited to go to school.

Nathan was placed in the afternoon session, which is great as it gives us a few relaxing hours together after Aiden has gone to school and before Nathan goes to class. It does mean he has to eat lunch at an oddly early time, but maybe that will prepare him for the early lunchtime in 1st grade.

We got to class and found Nathan's desk. He was thrilled! It was so cute. 

After a few minutes, he said, "Don't leave". (I almost lost it then) I said, "But I thought you were excited?" He said, "I am, but I'm also nervous and don't want you to leave". But we did high fives, kisses, and hugs, and I reminded him that his best friend Lucius is in the class with him. As I checked in with Nathan's teacher (who was supposed to be Aiden's teacher and is the TAG rep), she said, "I was so excited to have Aiden in my 2nd grade class! He was going to be my TAG case study! But I'm super excited to be connected to your family through Nathan and I'll still be involved in Aiden's TAG progress!". Um, I love this teacher.

At pick up time, I stuck to my normal routine of getting Aiden from his classroom and checking in with the teacher before I got Nathan from the kinder group waiting at the front of the building. It felt strange not having Nathan with me, but I suppose I'll get used to it. As I walked out to get Nathan, he looked so small and in awe of everything happening around him. But I could tell by his face as he saw me that he had a wonderful day and loved every minute of it. Much smoother than Aiden's start to kindergarten....(remember this?). As I made sure that Nathan's teacher knew I was getting him, she said, "I seriously love Nathan. Your kids are awesome and adorable!" Yep, she's going to be a good fit for Nathan this year.

Oh, and I was also able to check in with Aiden's teacher and she said that Aiden is settling in very well and already seems less frustrated. Great news!

First Day of 2nd Grade!

Well, we have a 2nd grader.

Can you tell that he didn't sleep very well? He looks exhausted! He said he was too excited to fall asleep. I went in to wake him up and he said, "Oh, my alarm never went off!". In reality I had just turned it off because it had been going off for 25 minutes. This kid is just like his father.

We were running late and I didn't get close enough for the bottom of his sign to show in the picture, but it says, "I want to be a.....scientist!". I'll be more prepared for Nathan's first day on Thursday.

I did miss Aiden very much today and kept checking the clock to see if it was time to get him yet. Nathan obviously missed him too. At least his company. He drove me up the wall all day long. I eventually bought him a small lego set while we were at Target this afternoon out of desperation so I could get some things done here at home.

Aiden said he had a "good" day, but did apparently have a little trouble with frustration due to reading material. It sounded like his teacher handled it very well (and she seems nice). We had a talk about it and are hoping for a better day tomorrow. But Aiden did sit down at dinner and announce that he wanted to be home schooled. So that wasn't quite what I was expecting/wanting to hear. We then had a big talk about it and we explained what we wanted from his 2nd grade experience. The subject is not off the table, but would need to be reevaluated at a later time. He seemed satisfied with the outcome.

After we left Aiden in his classroom this morning, Nathan had his kindergarten assessment. He impressed the teacher with his math skills and is quite excited for kindergarten to start on Thursday!

Some School Changes

I have a prayer request regarding the beginning of the school year, mostly for Aiden.

Last week, we received his teacher notification. He had been assigned to the 2nd grade teacher we had been hoping for - the TAG coordinator who had been involved in the behavioral meetings, knew Aiden's TAG needs exactly, and had assisted us in creating an individualized education/behavioral plan for him. She knew his areas of struggle and what he needed in order to excel. We were ecstatic! Fist pump, did a little dance, and felt really, really good about this next school year. I felt like God had totally set this up for us.....and then it was ripped out from underneath us.

On Saturday, I missed a call from the school and over voicemail I found out that Aiden had been reassigned to another teacher due to "enrollment changes". A teacher that we have never met, who has never met Aiden, who has not been involved with the planning over the last school year, who knows nothing about him beyond whatever paperwork she's been given. I cried. I was angry, disappointed, and suddenly completely uneasy about the school year. The stress of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks.

After a little while, I decided to email the principal with my concerns. I knew that the likelihood of Aiden being switched back to the other teacher was low, but I knew I needed to be an advocate for my child and at least make sure the principal was aware of my concerns. Since I want the situation to be taken seriously and also want to be a team player with my child's educational system, I kept my email calm and understanding of sudden changes. I outlined exactly why I was worried and then asked simply to be reassured by the principal that they had placed Aiden in the best possible situation and that we would have access to any support we needed if we hit any bumps along the way.
He emailed me back promptly, with a compliment on the tone of my email - saying it was by far the easiest to read and respond to all day (which made me very happy that I had not panicked and sent an emotional email). He provided me with plenty of reassurances and promises that we could utilize him, Aiden's 1st grade teacher, the TAG coordinator, and anyone else we needed to help Aiden transition to a new teacher.

So, I feel.....better. I guess. I think it helped just getting my concerns out there to someone who is familiar with the situation and knows about the teacher. We know that she taught a 4th/5th grade combo class last year, which may make it easier for Aiden to get more advanced material. I am still nervous, but we have discussed the situation with Aiden and gone over how we expect him to handle the transition. Aiden had been very excited to get the teacher we wanted, so he was disappointed about the change and then nervous that his friends would not be in the same class. We called a few families and found that they had all been moved to the same class, so that was reassuring for him. He actually handled the disappointment very well and still seems to be excited for school to begin.

We did discover a few hours later that the reason for the change is that Aiden's original teacher had to be moved to teaching kindergarten, which means she's actually Nathan's teacher now. That also makes me a feel a little better since we will be in frequent contact with her and she can be familiar with us for TAG purposes that way.

This all may (and probably will) work out just fine. But it definitely threw a kink in things and we are hoping that it doesn't set things back significantly for Aiden. So just keep us all in prayer if you can. We have high hopes for this school year!