Five Hands, Two Fingers

Holy cow, I'm 27. I'm not quite sure where the time went and suddenly, numbers are starting to seem significant. I have a five year old child. I've been with John for almost 10 years (on Dec 30). I'll be 30 in three years. Yikes. I'm at the point where I'm not sure how I feel about that. I don't think I'm dreading it anymore. But I'm not excited about it yet either. I think I've convinced John that I get to buy a MINI Cooper for my 30th birthday. That will make everything better.

Honestly, I'm enjoying getting older. Each year brings new experiences and realizations. This past year, I went through the process of attempting to purchase a home (actually four homes) with the man that I love and we finally found the one we were meant to have. We are continually finding out what being home owners really means and these experiences will stay with me forever.

My realization over the past year is that even though I'm a mom to two young children, I am still very much my own person. Thank goodness this finally got through. I was struggling with it for a long time. Yes, I am a mom and I do lots of mom things, but I am Carrie. I like pirates, Harry Potter, cheesy teenager dance music, laughing at silly things on the internet, reality shows about cooking, and reading about anything and everything from World War Two to vampires and werewolves. These things make up who I am and I am proud of it.

Something I couldn't say when I was 17: I can appreciate things a whole lot more. Art, music, history, budgeting, things that parents go through for their children, and things that spouses go through for each other.

So this birthday will go by without much fanfare and that's fine with me. My husband accompanied me to the movie I'd been waiting to see for a year (Harry Potter 7, Part 1!) after I was done with work last night, I got to spend the day with my children and have a few preschoolers make banana bread muffins for me, and I will end the day putting together my brand new vacuum (can we say finally?) and cleaning my floor. And yes, that will make me happy. I'm definitely getting older.

Written Request

Instead of asking me for things, Aiden is now writing it out for me. This was his request for a drink with today's lunch:

He definitely got chocolate milk.

Snow!

We didn't get a lot of snow, but the "powdered sugar" look is very pretty on the large green space out behind our house. Plus, it's just kind of fun to have snow before Thanksgiving.

The boys spent a little while out in the back yard this morning, eating as much of the snow as possible. They were pretty darn excited about the idea of it and didn't sleep much last night. It's been a challenge getting the dog to go out the door to go potty today though. He'll get about a foot out the door, then turn around and head straight back inside. Thank goodness for weewee pads! Poor thing just can't handle the cold.

The roads were covered with ice this morning and temperatures weren't expected to get above freezing (schools closed because of it), so my commute to and from work this evening might be interesting. Traffic on the road by our house seems to be flowing ok at the moment though and we aren't supposed to get any more snow or rain, so hopefully it won't be too bad after it gets dark. After what Seattle was hit with, we got pretty lucky.

But for now, we're enjoying our day inside staying warm and looking at the sprinkling of white outside.

One hour, 22 minutes

I'm currently sitting quietly at my coordinator table at the church bazaar and counting down the minutes until I can say that I was able to pull it off for another year. I did take a self-imposed 2 1/2 hour break from the event today to sit alone in silence in my car. Yes, I sat in my car for 2 1/2 hours. I'm massively sleep deprived and my patience packed up and left earlier this week. Only two vendors had checked in this morning before I had to fight the urge to tell someone off when they insisted that they were promised something that they most definitely were not promised. Listen lady, I got four hours of sleep last night after working late and THEN finishing the set-up for today, you're a half hour early for set-up, and I wrote up all the specifications for the dang bazaar, so don't tell me that it said something other than what I, me, myself wrote. Thank you very much.

I did have a short talk with one of the pastors and we're going to go over everything that's involved with putting this whole thing together. That way, for next year, we can get a small teams together, I can still oversee everything and be the lead coordinator, but it's not all on my shoulders.

I love the feel of organizing things, but I have to admit that I can't do this alone again!

20 More Hours!

Just needed a place to scream and yell....I'M ALMOST DONE WITH THE BAZAAR!!!

John tells me that I'm not allowed to do it again next year unless I get a team of people together. Apparently I'm too stressed and frustrated right now. I suppose that did become apparent to me last night when I got upset over the "tone" of a spam email. To be fair, it was the most demanding subject line of a spam email I've ever seen. I don't remember it being this difficult last year (or else I wouldn't have agreed to it again), but I didn't have quite as many other things going on.

Ok, there was my breather. Now back to it.

Nearing the End

I'm a little too busy to blog right now and can't even really get my mind to think about blogging, so until I'm done coordinating the Christmas Bazaar this weekend, you probably won't see much from me.

I keep telling myself that I just need to get through the end of this week and then I can relax, but really, I have to get to next Wednesday before I have a day to breathe (due to work and school commitments through late Tuesday night). I'm almost there....

The bazaar has been more stressful this year, verging on being a frustration more than anything and I think it's because I just took on too many things. Since I do plan on being in school by the time bazaar planning would come around next year, we'll see if I even feel like I can do it again. If I do, I think I'll need a team of people in order to get through it.

If you're in the area, please do think about stopping by the bazaar to see all my hard work!

Relieved

I got a call from the library. They decided to go with someone else, but she was very insistent that they thought I was very impressive and she asked permission to keep my name in case they have another position open up. I've never been so relieved to be rejected.

That must sound strange, but here's how the past two days went. I came home not really knowing how I felt about the interview. As the day went on, something was nagging at me. It just wasn't feeling quite right. This position was going to be different from the one I had originally applied for because it would require me to work some mornings and afternoons, not just evenings and weekends. As John and I talked about it more and more, taking the job would mean we would need to find a daycare for the boys. I wasn't ready for that. My kids are so important to me and time with them, especially at this age, means more to me than anything. Yes, I wanted to work in the library, but was I willing to place my children in daycare to do it?

I was feeling like I didn't think I could do it, but didn't make a full decision on it. Finally, she called and gave me the news. I am honestly so at peace with this, it's ridiculous. If this had been something that we had been going for and had made the decision that daycare was something we were fine with at this point, then it would have been ok. But this came out of nowhere and I wasn't prepared to have to make that decision. I got off the phone and gave the boys HUGE hugs.

My kids aren't going to be this age again and I want to enjoy them as much as possible. I am happy to have a job that works around my current needs, allowing John to be home with them when I'm not. I'm surprised how little disappointment I feel....in fact, I'm not really feeling disappointed at all. Just interviewing felt like I did something to approach my dream job and that felt great. It will happen when the time is right and my gut feeling told me that now was not the time.

Interview!

I still felt sick this morning, but gave the lady at the library a call back anyway. She asked me a few questions and then said, "I'd like to interview you at 2pm, if that's ok". Oh my.

John had stayed home since now he wasn't feeling great (I'm still really hoping this is from us being stressed and exhausted and that it's not a bug), so luckily, I was able to say yes and not worry about what to do with the boys. I did have to find a replacement to cover my parent help shift at the preschool, but that wasn't a problem. John drove the boys to school and I headed to my interview, after lots of ginger ale and saltines to calm my stomach. I figured that as long as I didn't barf on the interviewer's feet, it would be a good day.

I arrived and found out that the assistant director would be joining us for the interview! Talk about extra pressure. They took turns asking me questions and we talked a little bit about how the library is run. I didn't feel very prepared since it was so unexpected, and along with not feeling 100%....I honestly can't tell you how it went. I never feel like I interview well, but I have gotten every job I've interviewed for, so I guess I'm not that terrible. Granted, I've always been prepared and not felt like I was going to pass out during the interview, so we'll see how it turns out. After the interview, they had me take a pre-employment test (to make sure I know how to put things in alphabetical order).

Now I wait and see what happens. I am surprised at how unsure I feel about this job. It would be a different schedule than I'm used to with retail and would require me to find some childcare for the boys a few times per week. Not impossible, but does make things a little more complicated, especially if I'm scheduled to work during a time the boys are supposed to be in school. We just have to talk it over and decide if it's a good fit in case they do offer me the job.

If anyone local knows of someone who might be looking for some part-time childcare work (paid, obviously), please let me know.

Libraries

As I mentioned about a month ago, I had sent in my resume to one of the local libraries. They were hiring for part-time library assistants and even though I haven't gotten my certification yet, I went for it. About a week ago, I received an email saying that they had chosen someone for the position. I was a little disappointed, but it was by no means a surprise. I had expected it.

Fast forward to today, I ended up with one of the worst migraines I've had in two years and spent most of the day throwing up. Needless to say, I wasn't answering my phone. After taking a shower this evening, I decided to check my phone for any messages. There was a voicemail from the HR person at another library. They've ended up with an unexpected position for an on-call library assistant and would like to interview me. I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing for a minute! I have to wait until tomorrow to call her back, but it sounds like she wants to interview asap.

I'm thrilled. And conflicted. Obviously, an on-call position would mean that I may need to find childcare for my kids at short notice. It also doesn't guarantee hours (and a paycheck). It also means that I would need to quit the job I just returned to (a job that does guarantee hours). However, this is what I want so badly. It's what I dream of doing every time I walk into a library. But I'm getting ahead of myself. An interview does not mean I'll be offered the job and I should just focus on one step at a time. John says he wants me to go for it. It's a step in the direction I want. So I'll schedule an interview and whatever happens, happens. I'm so excited, I could barf. But I think I've done enough of that today!

Christmas Bazaar

For you locals who read this, I'm coordinating our church's Christmas Bazaar this year and would like to extend a warm welcome for you to join us. Feel free to pass this information along to bazaar-loving friends and family. Last year was a lot of fun and I'm excited to have some new vendors join us this year. Here's the information:

Does Santa Need Some New Ideas?
Tigard Community Friends Church
2nd Annual Holiday Bazaar

Come join us for community fellowship and Christmas shopping!
With a wide range of unique vendors, you’re sure to find something for everyone on your list and meet some great people in the process.
Our popular bake sale is back this year too!

When: Saturday, November 20
What Time: 10am-4pm
Where: Tigard Community Friends Church
15800 SW Hall Blvd.

Are you crafty? We’re still looking for some great vendors to add to our event!
Spaces are $25 (table not provided).
For more information, please email Carrie Minthorne atTCFCbazaar@gmail.com.

Sanity

My dad arrived in town this morning, so blogging will probably take a backseat this week. It will be nice to have someone around to help if I need it and the boys love playing with their grandpa so much. My favorite part of today was when Nathan went up to him and asked, "Can I hold you, grandpa?".

But I did want to get on here and ask, for sanity's sake, that you say a little prayer for us. This afternoon, the dishwasher started not working correctly. It's not draining and seems to not cycle through entirely - it sounds like it's just filling with water. I know that dishwashers can have drainage problems if the garbage disposal is clogged, but the disposal is working perfectly fine and is draining quite well. Hopefully we can get it figured out soon and fingers crossed that it's quick fix. The vacuum is still broken (we're waiting on the part to arrive) and I don't know that we can take any more appliances breaking. At least dishwashers are cheaper than washing machines...