Everyone BACK OFF!!!

I felt like screaming that last night and then running from the apartment. It was just one of those days. Aiden was having tantrum after tantrum, Nathan refused to sleep unless he was nursing and in my arms, John had a headache when he got home from work, and there was so much housework to do. Not to mention having to feed everyone dinner. By 9pm, I was reaching my limit of what I could take. I felt like even the guinea pig wanted a piece of me. She really just wanted food and water, but I just couldn't handle the incessant squeaking!!

It's days like that where I have to take a moment and remind myself that the Zoloft isn't a cure-all. It does help me handle things I little better than I could on my own right now, but it won't disappear all of my stress and anxiety. I'm trying to figure out how to sort out everything that needs to be done. A list is probably the best way to start. And working one room at a time. I've always had a hard time sticking to that. I want to rush around and take care of all the rooms at once, but that just causes me to get massively overwhelmed and then nothing ends up getting done at all.

I'm wasting time sitting here writing about everything I need to do. My brain is stuck in a middle area. I'm beginning to get my motivation back from being pregnant and having a baby, but I'm still really tired and feeling a bit lazy. My head wants to work on projects, my body does not. So for now, I'll sit here and stare at the mess, complaining about how badly it needs to be cleaned up.

Guess who's 2?

Aiden has been acting more like a 2 year old than ever. I have no clue why and I'm really ready for it to be done with. As I write this, he sits in his room screaming at the top of his lungs - all because I put him down for his daily nap. I even read him book, which I probably shouldn't have done, seeing as he's having a full blown temper tantrum. Oh well. I love my child and I thought it might calm him down. It did momentarily, until I told him to have a good nap and then left his room. He's really mad. Now he's throwing things and screaming. I will assume that he only has so much energy to put into this tantrum and that he will eventually fall asleep. Silly assumption? Maybe. But if I begin to think that there's even a slight possibility that he may spend his entire naptime screaming like a banshee, I may just have to have a tantrum myself.

We've been moving some furniture around. Maybe it's stressing Aiden out, since some of it includes his room. It's mostly out of neccesity though. John and I took a trip to IKEA on the 15th (the first time we've been to the new store) and purchased a real dining room table that seats more than 2 people and a larger bookcase. We'd gotten to the point where we were being overrun with text books, literature, and new DVDs (which we never seem to get around to watching). So we had to move one of our bookcases into Aiden's room, replacing a smaller bookcase in there, which we then moved out by our fireplace. We also moved the desks and filing cabinet, so that it's a little more condensed in that area of the main room. It seems to be working a little better than it used to. And even though the new table is larger than the old one, it seems to make the dining area look much more open. I'm really enjoying our new furniture.

All this furniture moving is forcing me to organize and clean things that I've been letting go for quite some time. I find myself again watching Oprah this afternoon, this time an episode entitled "Into the Lives of Hoarders". This couple's 3000 square foot house is filled to the brink with stuff and trash. There are no words to describe how shocking and disgusting it is. Why do I watch these things???

2 months and growing!

Nathan had his 2 month checkup today. It was my first experience in taking both children out by myself, when they weren't able to be contained in a shopping cart. Aiden ended up running away from me in the parking lot, but thankfully it wasn't busy and I was able to catch him quickly.

Nathan's stats are:
Birth: 7 lbs, 2 oz; 20 1/2 inches.
10 days: 7 lbs, 9 oz. No length taken.
12 days: 7 lbs., 13 oz. No length taken.
2 months (today's check): He weighed in at 12 pounds, 2 oz (65th percentile). His length is 24 1/2 inches (93rd percentile). I'm wondering how we ended up with such a tall baby. I'm 5'2 and John is 5'8! At Aiden's 2 year checkup, he measured in the 95th percentile, so I guess we'll just have tall children. My fear is that they'll shoot up to about 5 feet and then stop. Poor things....

I was a little nervous going in there today because our pediatrician surprised us last time with the fact that he has very different views on vaccines than we do. It was surprising to me because he likes to follow the delayed/selective vaccine schedule and I didn't know that there were many pediatricians out there who openly do that. John and I like to stick with the American Academy of Pediatrics schedule, to avoid later confusion when enrolling the kids for school and also because I strongly feel that the vaccines were created for a reason. If we didn't really need them, they wouldn't be given. I was afraid the pediatrician might give me some trouble with wanting to do the full vaccine schedule or try to talk me out of it, but he didn't. He did make sure that I knew how much aluminum was in each vaccine and that I was agreeing to it. I appreciate him making sure I knew what was involved. I'm sure many parents don't know and most pediatricians wouldn't even mention it without being asked. Poor Nathan's legs are pretty sore from getting poked five times, so he's a little fussy. He dealt with it like a champ though and calmed down very quickly.

I got the news today that our pediatrician is opening his own practice, so I don't know if we'll follow him or not. I guess it depends on if our insurance is going to cover his new practice. We wouldn't stay with the current practice after he leaves. Aiden doesn't like female doctors and our pediatrician is the only male there. Though I guess this may be our opportunity to find a pediatrician who follows the same views on vaccines that we do. Problem is, John really likes our current guy and I really like the fact that he's very open about his faith and brings that into treating his patients. I guess we'll have to see how things play out.

Oh, busy day. John forgot his lunch, so I had to take that to him around noon. Then I took the boys to McDonalds (well, Nathan will get his McD's later in some milk) and then over to Target to get John a present for our anniversary on the 30th (3 years!). On the way home, there was a small bug stuck to my drivers side window. He was holding on for dear life and his antennae were blowing in the wind as I was driving. It was very cartoon-like and pretty darn comical. I'm quite exhausted and my kitchen is so messy, it's basically unusable right now. So tonight is the night to use our gift certificate to Papa Murphy's. You know things are bad when your husband offers to hire a maid!

Darn you, Oprah!

I posted a few weeks ago about possibly finding another apartment in either Beaverton or Hillsboro. We've done some searching around online and have found a few nice places, but nothing that would really save us much on rent. Maybe between $25-50 a month, which I'm sure would add up after a while, but is it really worth doing another move over? We're not completely decided. Our lease is up at the end of the month and while legally we don't have to sign another 10 month lease, the management company is trying to basically bribe people into renewing their leases. They are offering free carpet cleanings, free apartment cleanings, free accent wall painting....you name it. I think they're having a hard time keeping people around. I've seen 5 people move out in the past 2 weeks and not anyone moving in.

If we don't move, I'd like to try to make this space work a little better for us. Even with the huge amount of closet space that we have, I still feel like we're being overrun with stuff. Time for a good cleaning out, I guess. I watched Oprah today, which I something that I never do. She was making over people's homes. People who were stuck in a decorating rut and who weren't utilizing their space very well. It got me all motivated and twitchy like daytime shows on pack-rats desperately in need of a professional organizer tend to do. I haven't been able to do much in terms of organization since I starting getting too pregnant to really move. Sure, I'm not pregnant anymore, but you try finding the energy to organize a room when you barely have the energy to brush your hair in the morning. Maybe I can convince Oprah to send her guy Nate over to my place...

A clear nose

The eraser is out! Turns out the ER was very busy for a Tuesday night (you'd think it was a weekend...) and of course, a kid with an eraser up the nose isn't first on the list of emergencies. John said the guy in front of them in line was having a heart attack. So John and Aiden didn't get home until after midnight. But it sounds like the process of getting the eraser out was pretty straightforward. I was worried about how much Aiden was going to panic and scream like he did with us, but they didn't have to dig at his nose at all. John said the doctor came in and said, "I'm going to hold his head and press on the other nostril, you put your mouth to his and blow hard.". The eraser popped right out! Who knew? So the doctor said to try that before bringing him in if this happens again, and knowing my son....it will. This is actually the 2nd time he's stuck an eraser up his nose, but it wasn't very far up there last time, so I was able to pick it out with no trouble. All we have to do now is watch for signs of infection over the next few days, but since it was only up there for about 5 hours, the risk of that is fairly minimal.

Aiden was in a great mood when they got home last night and he came in to tell me all about it and give me a kiss (I had gone to bed already). I think he was very happy to finally get to bed. He's a little crabby today, probably from lack of sleep yesterday. I'm really quite exhausted - Nathan hasn't been sleeping well for the past 2 nights. So we'll see how today goes for us. Hibernation has never sounded so good as it does at this moment.

At the ER

I just sent Aiden off to the ER with John. Part of me feels like I should have gone along, but John thought it was simple enough that he could handle it himself. I'm still a complete mess over it though.

Aiden had been playing in John's desk while I was nursing Nathan. I told him to leave it alone. I thought he did. But apparently before he left it alone, he removed an eraser from a mechanical pencil and stuck it up his nose. I didn't notice it until we were getting Aiden ready for bed and he kept sniffing and sneezing. We attempted to get it out with tweezers, but it was just too far up there. Aiden was screaming and crying so much, I was sure the neighbors were going to call the police. I tried to call the after-hours advice nurse, but it just kept circling me around on hold. So off to the ER it was. Aiden was pretty upset and since he didn't get a nap today, I know he's tired.

I know they probably have to pull things out of children's noses all the time, so it should be pretty simple. But I just can't help but wonder how traumatized my child is going to be from strangers holding him down and pulling something out of his nose. He was completely freaking out from John and I doing it.....imagine how much worse it might be at the ER. I'll post an update when we recover from this adventure.

SMILE!

Showing off his flirty little smile. Isn't he just too cute?

Switching beds

Back in October (I think), we bought Aiden a toddler bed. We tried a few times to get him to sleep in it, but all he did was bang on his bedroom door and scream. So back in the crib it was. Our plan was to have Nathan in his cradle in our room until he was too big for it, but we quickly realized that it was nearly impossible to move him into it without waking him up. It was just too far of move from our bed to the cradle. When Aiden was a baby, it worked really well to take one side off of the crib and push it up against my side of the bed. That made it extremely easy to move him over quickly. So, last week we decided that it was now time for Aiden to no longer have a choice. He needed to switch to his toddler bed so that Nathan could have the crib.

Friday night was the big move. John moved the crib from Aiden's room to ours without Aiden noticing and I switched all of Aiden's bedding to the toddler bed. Aiden looked a little surprised when he walked into his room and the toddler bed sat where the crib used to be. Bedtime was a little nervewracking for me, as I was expecting a night filled with terrified screaming. We went about our usual routine and tucked him in for the night. The door closed, Aiden began to cry....but the crying turned to general complaining....10 minutes later, there was silence. We heard nothing until the morning. I went in to get him up and asked, "Did you sleep in your big boy bed?". He gave me a HUGE hug and began jumping up and down, yelling "YAY!!!". I was so proud of him. He's still been complaining a bit when we put him to bed, but when I put him down for a nap today, there wasn't a single sound from him. My little Aiden is growing up and I've been able to sleep on my own, without a baby constantly attached to me for at least a few hours each night.