Weekend at the Beach

NOTE: The title is a link to an online photo album with all the pictures from the trip.

John was going to turn the big ol' 28, so around mid-July, I arranged to have the boys go to the in-law's for the weekend and spent countless hours trying to find the perfect coast hotel for the weekend. I finally came across Hallmark Inn and Resort in Newport and loved the thought of their King Spa Stateroom - a 2-person jetted tub in the room sounded perfect! It was a little extra, but I can say now that it was worth it. I would definitely recommend it. The tub was super roomy and the king size bed was the most comfortable hotel bed I've ever slept on. It even had a couch, two armchairs and a table, a small kitchenette (dishwasher, sink, fridge, microwave, toaster, coffee maker, and a set of dishes), a fireplace, two TVs (with DVD player), room service, and a very nice on-site restaurant (Georgie's Beachfront Grill). We will definitely be going back.


After a ton of traffic on our way there, we settled into the room and went out in search of some dinner. We came across a very touristy 50s diner called FlashBack and decided to have some good ol' burgers and fries - although in my case, I opted for the onion rings. A little greasy but oh sooooo good! The bacon cheeseburger was fantastic. We were pretty tired and full of food, so it was back to the hotel. This was the sunset view when we walked back in and looked out from our deck:

The colors branched out so far in each direction, it was breathtaking. What a great sunset for our first night there! Being pretty wiped out, we relaxed in the jetted tub for a while, watched part of one of my favorite dance movies that happened to be on tv (The Turning Point -1977 - Anne Bancroft and Shirley MacLaine with Baryshnikov) - you know it's a good movie when John isn't bored out of his mind by all the ballet! - , then snuggled into bed.

I woke up at 8:30 by the sound of small children fighting. I quickly realized they weren't my children and I didn't have to deal with it. So I went back to sleep and didn't wake up again until 11:30! Hmm, maybe John and I were a little worn out?! We had a lazy "morning" making coffee and sitting on our deck in our pjs, just talking and not having to be responsible for anyone but ourselves. Honestly, the silence was so beautiful, we didn't talk too much. I think we must have remarked every five minutes about how fantastic it was to be fully in charge of our day, not have to be anywhere, only worry about feeding ourselves, and not having to worry about taking someone to the bathroom or changing a pull-up. I never appreciated moments like that until I had two small children! We sat for almost an hour, just staring out at this:

We finally decided to get a move on and head to our chosen hike for the day: St Perpetua Trail. Yes, we included a 2.6 mile, 700 foot elevation change, up the side of a mountain kind of hike for our relaxing weekend. We'd be craving some good challenging hiking for almost a year now, so we were really looking forward to it.

After an impromptu lunch at the Pig'N'Pancake (love it!!), we made our way to Cape Perpetua. We decided that instead of starting at the bottom, we'd drive to the top and do it backwards. Honestly, it was the way I'd recommend it. It's considered a "Difficult" hike (it's all switchbacks), but going down the mountain is fairly simple. It's coming back up that nearly kills you. I would not have felt like hiking back down after climbing up there. So we were spoiled with the good view before we even started:

Holy cow, that was high! It is called the "Best View in all of Oregon" and I can say that I've never seen a view quite like it. It just goes and goes and goes on forever. You get the view in spots, but you're also into the coastal forest so it gets really quiet and tranquil. We saw a few people, but it's not a super busy trail - probably due to the difficulty. On our way back up, we came out into one of the view spots and saw multiple sun rays breaking through the clouds onto the ocean. It was so pretty.

After the hike, we headed back to shower and then straight out to dinner at the Rogue Brewery. They were pretty busy since it was a Saturday night, but the hostess said she had room in the bar. They still serve dinner in the bar area (there's just not the good bay view like the restaurant has), so we went on up. The hostess was mistaken! There was no room! As we stood there looking around, a couple at a table motioned us over and said that we were welcome to sit with them. John and I aren't particularly adventurous when it comes to sitting with strangers, but we agreed. We ended up having a great dinner with them! Towards the end, the waitress came over and asked if it was separate checks. We said yes and that we actually didn't know each other before we sat down. She was surprised and said that she would never have guessed. I guess we looked like we were having a pretty good time! It was definitely a fun experience.

After another evening of soaking in the jetted tub, watching a movie, and John kicking my butt at Scrabble (he started out the game by lamenting how bad he was at it and how I was going to beat him), we slept until 10:30 the next morning. We had picked up some strawberries and doughnuts on our way back to the hotel the night before, so we had another lazy morning of sitting out on the deck with coffee and a yummy breakfast. Check out wasn't until noon, but we felt ready to start our afternoon and get some sightseeing in before heading back home so we packed everything up and checked out around 11:30.

We walked along the foggy beach and took a birthday picture before heading towards the Yaquina Head Scenic Area to see the lighthouse.

Happy 28th Birthday John!

(don't mind the sun in my eyes...)

We walked around the scenic area for a little while before heading in to climb the stairs up to the top. They were getting a little busy, but we were looking forward to seeing the view from this gorgeous lighthouse.

Once it was finally our turn to head up to the top, we started up the stairs and I made it to the first landing before I suddenly realized that I could see through the stairs as we walked up. Now, if you remember my post from Disneyland where I couldn't even make it across the minuscule rope bridge that my four year old could walk across, you'll know that I'm severely afraid of heights. I didn't say a word to John as we continued up, just trying to talk myself out of freaking out (this lighthouse has been through storms and has been standing since 1872, people walk up here every day without falling to their death, the likelihood of it collapsing under my feet is very low, etc). I made it 3/4 of the way up before I pasted myself against the wall on one of the landings and refused to any further. Needless to say, John was a little confused as to why I was suddenly having a full blown panic attack when I was almost to the top. We're talking shaking uncontrollably, hyperventilating, tears filling my eyes kind of panic attack. In public. So I sent John up by himself to take pictures while I stood there and waited. It made me feel a little better when a couple other people got to my point and were also having issues with the heights, but they were able to continue on past me. I was able to calm myself down as I stood there until I thought about having to walk back down this:

It probably doesn't seem like a huge deal, but you really can see through the stairs a lot more than the picture shows. Not good for me. John took the picture, by the way. I would have fully passed out if I'd tried it! I made John walk in front of me on the way down and began to panic if he got more than 3 steps ahead of me. Once I had made it down the stairs and out the front door alive, I started shaking even more and really had to keep from crying. I think the crying was mostly from feeling like a complete idiot for having a massive panic attack in public and being frustrated for not being able to make it all the way up. I sure don't feel like an idiot during the panic attack - I'm only thinking about how I might die. Ugh. Oh, and if you're wondering how the heights on the viewpoint from the hike affected me, it bugged me too. Luckily the only spot where you could really see that you can fall is at the top and the area is big enough that I was able to stay five+ feet away from the edge. Any closer and I would start to panic.

Once we were done with the lighthouse adventure, we went into Depoe Bay for lunch, caramel corn, saltwater taffy and gifts for the boys. After a quick stop at Starbucks (everyone heading back from the coast had the same idea, as it took us a good 20-30 minutes to get through the drivethru), we headed home.

It was a perfect weekend. Everything went just the way we wanted and there's nothing I would change (yes, the freak out was frustrating and a little embarrassing, but it also provided John and I with the opportunity to talk about how much it really affects me and what ISN'T helpful while I'm panicking - a pretty good bonding moment). While we love our children deeply, we're going to be able to be better parents by taking a small escape every now and then. It was a good reminder that it needs to happen a little more often.

And to my husband, thank you for spending your birthday weekend with me. I can't wait to do it again!

Happy Birthday John!

John and I just returned from a fabulous weekend away for his 28th birthday. I'll get some pictures up and write about some adventures we had soon. For now, I can say that it was so needed and we had the best time. People without children just cannot understand the beauty of uninterrupted sleep and time with your spouse!! We definitely realized that we need to have weekends like that more than once a year.

Coldwater and Submarines

Last night, I completed my last shift at Coldwater Creek. It went by all too quickly. I was doing just fine until I was putting something away by the schedule board. I glanced at next week's schedule purely out of habit and realized that my name wasn't on it. That's when it hit. I felt like a total fool, but I cried. The manager on last night was the one that I followed from Payless. That made it way more emotional than it would have been otherwise. She gave me one of the biggest hugs I've had in a long time and made me promise that I would visit. It was a lot harder to leave than I ever thought it would be. Yes, it was just retail, but the people I worked with were some of the kindest, most caring, and supportive people I've ever met. They made the job enjoyable and I won't soon forget them.

After a bit of an emotional evening, I went to bed pretty exhausted. Around 4:30 this morning, I heard squealing and laughing coming from the boys' room. They were wide awake and playing!! I went in there and asked them what on earth they were doing. I told them that it was the middle of the night and everyone was asleep. Aiden looks at me with wide open eyes and belts out, "But we're not!". No kidding. They played for an hour and a half before falling asleep again, sleeping in until 10:30. Usually that would be fine, but we have to leave at 11 for Aiden's swim class. Needless to say, it was a rushed half an hour.

Before swim class started, we were waiting next to the pool for Aiden's teacher when Aiden saw some older kids swimming around completely under the water for long periods of time. He pointed them out to me and said, "Mommy, they're swimming like submarines! I want to swim like a submarine too!". I expected that he would probably give it a try during class, but I didn't expect him to fully do it on the first try! I actually started to get worried because he was under water so long. Nope, he's just that much of a fish now. He will proudly tell anyone who listens that he can open his eyes under water now too. His last class is tomorrow and they get to go down the big water slide, like they did at the end of the last class two weeks ago. We have pictures and video of last time and plan to get some more this time around. We can't wait to show off Aiden's new skills!

Blub Blub

Aiden's progress in swim class over the past three weeks has been incredible. After some initial fear of getting his face wet (although he would shake it off quite well if he did happen to get his face wet), he is now gladly swimming around under water as much as possible.

The first round of swim classes was two weeks long, 30 minutes every day Monday-Friday. At the end of the first two weeks, his teacher determined that he wasn't quite ready to move to the next level (pretty typical at this age - especially since this is the first swim class he's ever taken), so I decided to sign him up for another two weeks in the same class. Yes, that means we will have been to the pool every weekday for four weeks. It's becoming a 2nd home.

He has the rest of this week and then the class is done. His teacher hasn't done her "official" evaluation yet, but she spoke to me after class today and said that he will definitely be able to move up to the next level. Her comment was, "For a kid who didn't want his face wet, I now can't keep him above the water!". It's all he wants to do! I love watching his progress.

Reading

Tonight while taking a bath, totally out of the blue, Aiden started reading! We have tub letters that you can stick to the shower wall and I had put a few words together. He read "OFF", "BOAT", "FAN", and "CAT". Go Aiden!

If it hadn't been way past their bedtime, I would have continued with him to see how many words he could get, but we will have to leave that for later. He did have great fun reading to us at bedtime (mostly memory from his favorite books, but that's partly what encourages them, right?) and we will need to get it on video. It's really quite adorable.

School starts on September 8th and I can see this being a great year for him. Not only learning more through school, but I am very excited to help him with learning how to read more and more here at home.

I had been feeling lately that my little baby Aiden was getting all too big and while I'm proud of him, I was a little sad. But this new development is just another reminder that each and every age is full of excitement, wonder, and new discoveries. We look forward to seeing what age five has in store for him!

Frazzled!

I realized last night that I'm burnt out and overwhelmed, mostly because of the kids. John and I are going away next weekend for his birthday and that will be fantastic, but I need to figure out a way to keep it from getting to this point. I'm not taking any time for myself at all. Even as I try to sit and blog, I have to get up countless times to break up some fight or deal with someone doing something they're not supposed to be doing. I've needed a haircut for the past two months and still have yet to schedule it.

The boys are at a particularly challenging stage right now. They are both in the midst of self-control issues (normal), they have both stopped listening (no idea if that's normal), and they are in full-blown big brother/little brother mode. Holy cow. The past two weeks have been filled with nothing but discipline and frustration. I know they're learning and they're both hitting the point where they're getting testosterone surges (boys get their first testosterone surge somewhere between ages 3 and 5 - it can cause a lot of discipline and anger problems), but I'm pretty sure my blood pressure is a whole lot higher now than it was last month. The more I talk to moms of just girls and moms of just boys, the more I'm convinced boys are the most challenging when they are younger. I have yet to hear of a mommy friend of mine with just girls have to stop mid-payment in a checkout line to physically pull her kids apart as they suddenly start beating the living jeepers out of each other. That is a life with boys, my friends.

I don't have enough time in the day to do everything I need to do and give myself adequate downtime, not to mention spending any bonding time with my husband before I'm ready to completely pass out. I was in tears last night because I was too tired to lift my head, but still too wound up from the day to fall asleep. It's frustrating.
In a way, going to work was a small escape from mommyhood and I was wondering how not going anymore was going to affect me. Then last night, I realized that work isn't the kind of escape I need. I need ME time. I need the kind of escape where someone isn't always wanting something from me. This needs to be figured out and soon.

After my small pity party last night, I thought that I should just get a good night's sleep and approach today with a new plan. Then Nathan woke up an hour later with an unexplained fever and I ended up getting a grand total of two hours of broken sleep during the night. Aiden ended up missing his swim class because I couldn't keep my eyes open this morning and wasn't safe to drive. So much for a new day. Maybe tomorrow.

For now, I can hear that the dance party the boys were happily having has once again turned into a brawl as Aiden punches Nathan in the back of the head, screaming at him to dance. I love my children with all of my being, but it's days like today where I'm pretty sure they're doing this on purpose.

One Week

I have one week left at work. Four more shifts. Sixteen more hours. It's a little weird and I don't think it's hit me yet.

I called out for what was hopefully the last time this past weekend. Because of my neck and back, I woke up Saturday morning unable to move. I was a little better by Sunday, but was quite uncomfortable all day. I kept sitting down, then walking around, shifting my weight, trying to pad the back of whatever chair I was in...there was just not much relief. I felt ok today so I went into work, but it quickly started taking it's toll and I'm back to being constantly uncomfortable.

But I don't want to call out for any more shifts. I want to see as many of my coworkers as I can before I'm done. There's a going away party for one of my coworkers (she's transferring stores) on Sunday. I get to join in and make it a double going away party.

I don't know if the manager did this on purpose, but my very last shift is with the manager I followed from Payless. That will probably make my last shift a little more sad than I was hoping for, but I couldn't have asked for a better person to have with me on my last night there. I really have her to thank for getting me this job that treated me much better, paid me more, and gave me more time with my family.

This post probably doesn't mean much to most of you (it's my job after all, not yours), but I guess I needed to process by writing it all out. So one more week.....until they call me asking me to come back for Christmas. :^)

Beat Up!

Warning: This is going to be a boo-hoo post.

Some days I feel beat up. Not literally of course, but I start to feel run down and worn out and like I just can't keep up. Like nothing is going my way. I don't like those days, but I would take them over how I feel now. I feel beat up. And this time I mean literally.

It all began on Sunday evening when I turned my head to look to the right and felt something wrench on the right side of my neck. Tylenol helps, but if I don't take it, it gets so bad that I can't turn my head. That's been affecting me all week, mostly causing me to be in too much pain to sleep.

Then on Monday, I was hit with a large block by a very crabby child (Nathan) right on my ankle bone. Immediate bruise.

On Tuesday, I was leaning down to tell Aiden something when he suddenly started bouncing up and down and ended up hitting my top lip with his hard little head. Hello fat, bloody lip.

On Wednesday, Aiden got mad at me because I wouldn't let him ride his bike in the middle of road, so he threw a cup at my head. It hit right on my eyebrow and wouldn't you know, that's kind of a sensitive spot. Bruise.

On Thursday (yesterday), I stubbed my right pinkie toe HARD, not only cutting it open, but also causing a small fracture. That poor toe has been fractured up into the double digits at this point (thank you ballet), so I'm sure I could lightly tap it at this point and it would shatter. It's not pretty.
Also yesterday, Nathan jumped on me while I was sitting on the floor in their room and however he did it, my neck was yanked to the side that's hurt already and I pulled some muscles in my back around my rib cage. Basically the entire right side of my body should be in a full cast right now. I was in so much pain last night, I was having trouble breathing.

Today, I was helping the boys cleanup their building blocks (and these are handmade, heavy wooden blocks) when I dropped a few on my left foot. My big toenail is only slightly crushed. In the shock of pain from the blocks dropping onto my foot, I was hopping around and stepped on a toy train. The underside of my right foot now has a small bruise.

Am I secretly being filmed? This seems like it should be some episode of some horrible sitcom. Can you even believe the injuries I have managed to get in the span of one week?? I'm ready to disappear to some empty padded room by myself. Not because I'm feeling mentally ill, but because that's obviously the ONLY way I'm going to keep from getting hurt!

Grumble grumble.

Life Changes

Sometimes life gets a little crazy and you need to adjust your priorities. Sometimes something in your head starts giving you little nudges to try to tell you that something needs to change. Usually one of those is enough, thank you very much. But we've gotten both in the past few weeks and today will be the beginning of change.

John's work is going well. Very, very well. He's busy beyond belief and his bosses tell him that it's just going to continue for as long as they can currently see. His boss told him that if he wanted to work upwards of 70 hours per week (!!), they would LOVE it. Here's the problem: John is getting behind on work because he has to leave work to come home and watch the boys so that I can go to work. John makes three times as much as I do. We're actually limiting our income by me working. After lots and lots and lots of discussions, we made the decision to have me quit my job. I will be turning in my notice when I go in tonight.

This is hard. I don't hate my job and I really like the people I work with. If I didn't like it, it wouldn't be so hard to leave. I know it's the best for us right now, but I will miss it. Although we included the boys in some of our discussions and they were very encouraging and excited at the thought of having me home.

So there's the changing of priorities. Now how about the little voice telling us that something needs to change? The little voice actually helped in making the decision to have me quit my job. For a while now, I've been feeling like I needed to get away from retail and go back to school. At first, the thought of it came up every now and then. But lately, I've been almost distracted by the thought of it. Especially while I'm at work. After telling John about it and including it in the discussion of jobs in general, I am hoping to take my placement test at PCC this weekend (God willing) and finally get signed up for fall classes. It feels quite scary and all I can do is hope and pray that all of this is the right thing to do. I know it will be difficult with two little boys, but I am so ready.

At first glance, two working and one in school looks a lot better than one working and two in school. But after pushing past the initial fears, everything seemed right about it. And now we take a deep breath and let it all begin.

The Truth About Cats and Dogs

Aiden has yet to let go of the idea of getting a dog and continues to drop little "hints" every few days.

Today's was: "I would have a lot of fun playing catch with a puppy. I guess I could just play catch with the cat. (At this point he throws the ball towards the cat, who doesn't move) Mommy, cats don't do much".

I get it, kid. You want a puppy.

John and I talked about it and John is at the we-can-buy-him-a-fish stage. Still a tad far from the let's-get-a-puppy stage. So until then, I suppose we'll just continue to be entertained by Aiden's "hints".

Little Fishy

Aiden began his swim class on Monday and he LOVES it! I took some pictures, but the lighting in the pool is far from camera friendly (even with attempting multiple camera functions). But I posted a few for you anyway at the end of the post.

Today at class, Aiden was bouncing around in the pool and ended up tripping. He went under for just a few seconds and was a little shocked initially, but shrugged it off pretty fast. After class, the teacher was worried that I had seen it and was upset, but I knew that Aiden is quite comfortable in water and could see that it hadn't bothered him in the least little bit. Once we were in the car, I asked him about it. He told me, "Well, it was kind of scary, but the water just went in my eyes a little bit. I'm sorry I couldn't call for the lifeguard to help me. I tried, but only bubbles came out". I giggled a little over that one. It did spark a small conversation about how his teacher is there to watch and help too and how it's really hard to talk under water.

This is proving to be a good thing for him. In just a few days, swimming has become part of everyday life to him. Maybe we have a future lifeguard in the family?

The Blue Room

I thought I should add some more house pictures for you all to see. Today's post is showing you the boys' very very blue room.

This is Aiden's side of the room, plus the closet.
Nathan's side (notice him "posing" for the picture).

I recently added a blue curtain. These walls seem very bare to me, despite all the gorgeous color, but John is in the process of building bunk beds for the boys. The bunk beds will eventually be up against this wall and corner, so I can't put anything up there. I'm actually avoiding doing most decorating of this room until the bunk beds are done and set up - that way I'll know for sure what kind of space I have to work with. So until then, naked walls it shall be.

You may also notice that since the picture of Aiden's side of the room, his bed has been pushed up against Nathan's. The boys did this all on their own and they seem to like sleeping close to each other, so we left it that way. :^)

The desk (complete with Thomas the Tank Engine computer and yes, there is a chair there now) and reading area.

And the latest blue addition to their very blue room: The cars switch plate! They saw this at Home Depot weeks ago and it was decided that it would be given as a treat for a day of great behavior. They finally managed to get it last week. :^) Sometimes it's hard being four and two...

So that's the boys room as it stand currently. I am looking forward to being able to tackle it decor-wise once the bunk beds are in. Until then though, I have MANY more rooms to work on. Hopefully I can be a little faster at getting them posted for you.