A Day Off

Or is it?

I don't want to sound negative about it. I know many people are dealing with unemployment right now and I am unbelievably grateful to have a steady job. I guess even when the economy is down, people still need shoes, right?

Tomorrow is my first day off since last Tuesday. And boy, do I really need a day off. I work again on Thursday, but then do have Friday off (which will be spent watching a friend on Jeopardy! - so if you watch Jeopardy on Friday, root for Peter!). I am really looking forward to not working tomorrow, but as I got home tonight, I realized that I am scheduled to parent-help in Aiden's class tomorrow and provide their mini-meal (snack) for them. Which meant I had to go back out to the store. Which also means that my day off won't feel much like a day off, because parent-helping is actually quite stressful. Nathan will be upset because I'll drop him off at the sitter's and Aiden will be upset because I won't leave his class (he can't stand me being there). Right after parent helping, I will spend 30-40 minutes helping to clean up, then I will rush to go pick up Nathan and attempt to get to the meeting with our real estate agent in time.

Which brings me to another point: Home buying is insane. I felt so discouraged today and I'm not feeling much better at the moment. I realize that any response is possible when putting in an offer, but I feel so overwhelmed with everything at the moment, I'm having trouble dealing with the thought of rejection. We are meeting at the home we are interested in and part of me doesn't want to see it again. I feel like I'll just be reminded of how fantastic I think it is and I'll just get upset again thinking of possible (and what feels like inevitable) rejection. There's a long story behind the inevitable rejection, so I'm not just trying to bring the whole thing down. I will explain at some point; just not tonight.

John keeps asking me if I'm handling everything alright and I feel like I'm really trying, but it gets quite difficult a lot of the time. I've been working 20 hour weeks, which might not seem like a lot, but when you have two little boys, it's very difficult. I saw my schedule for next week and I'm scheduled for 26 hours. We are short on people at the moment, so it won't be this way forever, but I can't help feeling a bit of dread going into next week. Apparently, my schedule was shortened to 26 after one of the girls reminded the manager that working has been hard on me and I probably wouldn't want to do a 30 hour week. Thank you, Cari! (Yes, I work with a same-name gal....I guess I can't escape it!)

I wish I could focus on the fact that I don't have to go into work tomorrow evening. And once we get home from school and the meeting with the agent, I'm sure I'll be VERY happy that I get to stick around and spend the evening with my family. It's just that right now, I'm not looking forward to tomorrow and my mind races ahead towards next week's madness. I struggle with feeling grateful for everything I have right now. But really, I don't dislike the way things are going....I would just REALLY enjoy a day with no kids and no work to sleep for as long as I please. And speaking of sleep, I'll head off to bed. :^)