A loss

Around noon today, my dad called to tell me that my grandma (my mom's mom) had passed away suddenly. She'd apparently had multiple aneurysms within a short amount of time and when they got her to the hospital, she had another one and they couldn't revive her. I'm in shock and a complete emotional wreck right now. I've been crying for the past 2 hours and I don't think Aiden is handling it very well. John has a meeting this afternoon that he can't get out of, so I'm on my own until this evening.

It's been 12 years since I saw her last, but ever since I was pregnant with Aiden, we'd been talking on the phone, writing letters, and I'd been sending her pictures of Aiden and my pregnancy with Nathan. John and I had been discussing taking the boys out to meet her in a few years. I really wanted to see her again.

Her service is Sunday afternoon in North Carolina. I want to go so badly. But I don't think John could go with me, I'd have to take Nathan since I'm nursing, I don't know my way around out there, and last minute tickets to North Carolina are so expensive. To put in perspective how upset I am right now, I'm very angry at the airlines for charging so much. It's so expensive, but it's my grandma and I know I'll be kicking myself if I don't go. I just don't know. I can't think straight, so I'll just leave it alone for now and wait to try to sort it out when John gets home.

Please keep my family in yours prayers. I'm doing very badly with this news and I know once it finally hits everyone else (they're all just shocked into silence so far), there won't be much emotional strength between my family members.