Just a little glimpse at my day

We had a great weekend with lots of family, mainly people we don't get to see very often. It was loads of fun to show off Nathan and pass him around. We took some pictures, so I'll get them on here as soon as I can, but you know how long that could take with a 6 week old baby around (funny enough, he woke up and started screaming the minute I wrote that).

Today, I feel, is the beginning of some change for me and I'll tell you why. First though, I have to tell you about what I found when I went into Aiden's room this morning to wake him up so I could drive John to work. Aiden has a habit of taking his diaper off at night after we put him to bed and then putting his PJ pants back on, falling asleep, and wetting the bed. We started putting Pull-Ups on OVER his diaper at night to make it harder for him to do that and it was working. But this morning I walk into his room only to be greeted by the sight of a naked little bottom pointed at the door. He had somehow managed to take the Pull-Up off and remove his diaper. I guess he was just too tired to put his PJ pants back on this time though, so he slept mostly nude. Needless to say, his bed was absolutely soaked. Fun.

On to the beginning of my change. I had my 6 week post-partum checkup this morning and I knew I'd have to take the depression screener. I filled it out truthfully and gave it back to the nurse. She takes it to the midwife, who looks it over before she comes in the room. My midwife walks into the room and says, "You scored a 12. That's not good.". Apparently, they want you below 10. I immediately burst into tears and begin a long rant on how I'm getting stressed really easily, I'm anxious all the time, I'm worrying about things I shouldn't be, and how I'm still (obviously) crying all the time. So, she wants me to see a counselor and gave me a list of counselors who specialize in post-partum depression. She also put me on a low dose of Zoloft, which I agreed to after making sure it wouldn't affect Nathan in any way. She pointed out that if I'm upset and stressed all the time, it's going to affect him so much more than any meds would. And enough stress can actually begin messing with milk production and screw up the nursing. Nathan likes nursing WAY too much for me to let that happen.

Hopefully things will start settling hormone-wise very soon and I'll be feeling more capable of being a mom to two small children. I got cleared for exercise and I think that will help me tremendously. John and I spoke about getting me signed up for a ballet class once a week and I'm really looking forward to having that as some time away each week. John and I are also going to make a point to work out together a few times a week. I'm sure it will relieve a lot of stress for both of us and give us some time together that would otherwise be spent with John on the computer and me watching TV.

I want to thank everyone who has helped out with meals. It is extremely helpful to me while I get myself to a place where I can juggle making dinner and taking care of my babies. And the food is so yummy too! :^)