Yesterday started out fairly well. Everyone seemed happy, I got the kitchen mostly cleaned, pets were fed, and it felt like it would be a decent day. The only downside was that my knee (the one that's been causing issues since it was injured in 2009) had been bothering me since Sunday evening, but I was still able to move around. Then came the time to go run errands. We went through the library with no major problems, but then had to take a trip to Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
I'll just say it now: No child under the age of 10 belongs in that store. It's packed to the gills and everything is at touching level. As I was attempting to read a gift registry, decide on what I was going to get, and figure out where those items were, the boys went nuts. Touching everything, rubbing things on the ground, knocking stuff over, and not staying next to me. I finally took Nathan by the arm and told him, in a very calm "could you please do this for me" kind of voice, that he needed to stay right next to me. That kicked off a screaming tantrum in the middle of the kitchen section. People were staring. As I told Nathan that he might want to think about calming down because everyone was looking at him, Aiden began yelling at me to stop bossing Nathan around. Ugh.
Once I got Nathan calmed down, we moved on to the bedding section to find Nathan a foam topper for his new mattress. I thought MAYBE we could make it out of the store without any more major problems. As I'm trying to find a twin size topper, I look over my shoulder to see both children climbing into a pillow display. How do these things enter their heads??
Once we got out to the car, the listening skills of my children continued to go downhill. They apparently wanted to dance around the parking lot instead of getting in their car seats. Because of this, the car doors were wide open and a balloon from church yesterday went blowing out into the parking lot and disappeared (it was crazy windy yesterday). The boys were quite upset, but it was completely their fault. After I got them buckled in, I used that opportunity to talk to them about what SHOULD have happened and how we could have kept the balloon from blowing out of the car if they'd just gotten in their seats when I asked.
As much as I just wanted to go home, I had to go over to Party City to get stuff for the John/Laura/Kevin graduation party on Saturday. The boys yet again weren't listening throughout the store and, as I was trying to talk to one of the employees about balloon bouquets, they grabbed some latex balloons and started trying to blow them up. Yes, I had to pay for them.
Finally, home we went. But sadly, things kept going downhill. Nathan decided to launch into a 20 minute screaming tirade towards Aiden, he kept hanging on my leg as I was trying to cook dinner, he screamed at me when he couldn't find his pillow pet at bedtime, and threw a massive tantrum when I decided to read Dr Seuss for their bedtime story. It was NOT a good parent day. I felt completely out of control of my own children and it was pushing me to the brink of not being able to control my emotions. It's unbelievably frustrating when I feel like I can't handle what a three year old throws my way. It's frustrating when I look back on it and can't see how I could have changed anything. It also didn't help that John didn't get home from work until 9:30 last night, so I was completely on my own through all this.
I sincerely hate days like yesterday. But I also know that I'm not the only mom who has to deal with it. Days like yesterday are learning times for my children - when they learn what they can and cannot get away with. No matter how hard it is for me to stand my ground. It's also a learning time for me - when I figure out what my emotional limit is and hold myself accountable for controlling my actions and taking a time out when it's needed. And I took many time outs yesterday.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Parenting is like flying a plane when no one has told you how. Life is in your hands and you can either make a safe landing with just a few bumps along the way, or you can crash and burn - scarring everyone for life. It's terrifying.
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